Fears & Nightmares

 In the true spirit of Halloween, I figured I should write something related to fears and nightmares. I always enjoy thinking back to when I was younger and what I found terrifying opposed to what I am afraid of today.

 Reoccurring nightmares of the past-
I was always afraid of being abandoned. I constantly had nightmares where I was with my parents and siblings one minute and the next I'm looking from far away at them leaving without me. Gasp.

Reoccurring nightmare of the present-
To be honest, I haven't had a lot of reoccurring nightmares. But the ones I have had on numerous occasions but not lately are my catmares. That's right, my totally irrational 'fear' of cats.
I can be around cats but I would just prefer not to be. I don't trust them... My catmares start out with things being normal and then I see a cat. Out of nowhere my dream goes from being totally fine to me being attacked by one and  no matter what I do, I can't escape it.

Quick review; my dreams from the past are more adult than my irrational fear of cat dreams... Interesting.

True fear of the past-
 Besides being left behind, I had fears of the dark like most kids. I was afraid of our basement in our house because it gave me the creeps. One fear I had when I was much younger was getting into trouble. When I was probably six I had this puppet I made and I threw it onto the bird cage with our budgie bird Buddy inside. Well Buddy lost his nut and freaked out. It scared me and I thought if my parents found out, I would get into so much trouble!!! Of course my older sister totally capitalized on this and used it against me for years! I still remember her empty threat; "If you keep doing that Haley I'll tell mom and Rudi that you threw your puppet on Buddy's cage!" It worked like a  hot damn until I finally got wise and told her to do it...

True fears of the present-
Not passing my courses and exams. I am so afraid of failure. I just, don't think I would take it very well. I would feel like I wasted our money, my time and I would feel like a big, old, dumb loser. So yes, that's a big current fear. As for general fears- I don't like spiders or any bugs. I will avoid going through a box left in storage if I have any indication that there might be a spider or two inside. I am also totally afraid of REAL ghosts. Yeah, I know... some people would argue that they aren't real. But, I have had some experiences, pretty small but still... I am totally fascinated with true stories of real paranormal activity but if there was a ghost hiding in this new house, I don't think I would handle it so well.

 I am super sad to report, that I have no plans to dress up for Halloween today. I.. can't believe it. I have always done something but now that we have a little one, she takes precedent over me finding a fun and witty costume for work. But, we did find a moment last weekend to carve pumpkins.

Susannah from Simple Moments Stick featured a bunch of bloggers for her Halloween inspired blog post a couple of weeks ago. I was featured, can you find me!?

Happy Halloween everybody!!

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