Young Guns

Mama is going to be 50 on Thursday. Wowsers. To me, 50 isn't even old though. Like I've said before 50 is the new 30 these days. I look at it this way, if someone dies at 85 it's kind of okay. He lived his life, and 85 is a decent time to die. But when a person goes at 55.. it seems a little early. Therefore, 55 isn't old.

Mom had no idea that we planned a surprise birthday party for her. Unfortunately none of us got any pictures of our house all decorated. I told her that I wanted to spend the night at her house Saturday. But I phoned at 4 to tell her that my car died and Rob wasn't home to take me to her place. She came right away, expecting nothing. Especially since her real birthday isn't until Thursday, she probably hadn't even thought about it yet. She was so surprised. She kind of just stood there with her mouth open.

We had a birthday tiara and a birthday girl pin. We had streamers and banners, balloons and a cheap pin the tail on the donkey. She drank it right up. We had her tonic water and flowers to smell and grapes to eat. She was like a hyper kid that was fed lots and lots of chocolate. She was off the wall excited. But it was her night and we let her loose. We had reservations at a fancy restaurant for 7. Her and I went back to her place so that she could get really dressed up and shower. I made her a cd and played it for her while she got ready. I felt like I was at my girlfriend's house, rather than my mom's. A lot has changed. Some for the good and some for the bad..

We had a nice dinner and mom kept "cackaa ing" like Ellen (Ellen Degeneres Show) in the restaurant. Like I said, she was really excited. My sister and Joe came from Victoria so she was really pleased that they came all the way for her. The food was great and we got some pictures taken outside on the patio.

All in all she deserved the treat and on her actual birthday I am going to spend some time with her. I took the day off so that she can have me all to her self, if she wants.

Happy 50th mom- you're not gettin' old, you're just gettin' started.


Rob and ma














The girls- with Alex. We've salvaged our
relationship and are getting along wicked good
now. She's my gym partner.

The Wedge

It is funny how one day can change so much.

Yesterday Rob and I went to mom's to take down Christmas for her. There has been some mention of her having a friend in her life lately, but nothing serious. Apparently it is a bit more than what I thought. He has come for a couple of visits at her house and one visit to Nanaimo to pick something up at the Canadian Tire.

It is true that I was very open to all of this in the beginning. I think it is good for her to have found a companion, although she has been told not to get into any relationships until she has hit her one year of sobriety. But I know she has a good head on her shoulders and knows not to get too serious this soon.

I somehow figured out that I knew this friend of hers. He happened to be a regular at my coffee shop. I was delighted trying to figure out by his name who he might be. At first I thought of a sweet man that comes in early in the mornings and is always polite, calling me by my name. But as soon as she said "painter" my heart didn't even sink, it started beating violently in my chest. I couldn't sit anymore, I needed to get out of her observing eyes. I started pacing out of my own control in and out of the kitchen. The Painters! There is an older man that comes in with his son and they are known for hitting on anything with a pair of tits. His son isn't bad but it is him that makes everyone uncomfortable with his inappropriate comments. I couldn't believe it was HIM. It was confirmed and my mind has been made up.

I am not a close minded person. If anyone was to know this information ahead of time it would be me. I just can't say that I am not completely disappointed with the end result. I was hoping to meet this new guy that peeks mom's interest and instead I have already met him in a number of occasions. I have brought him his breakfast and served his coffee, watching him tip with inappropriate comments and his lingering eyes on anything that moves. Urrrggh. It makes me shudder thinking that this is her new friend.

I researched it a little by asking one of the ladies I work with what she thought of the "painter guy". First thing she says, no hesitation, he's a bit creepy. Then she goes on to tell me her inappropriate story of him. Of course being as it was a recent encounter, I tell mom.

She phones to tell me that he feels really badly and is apologizing to this lady at work. Big deal. I don't care about her. I care about my mother and her feelings. She shouldn't be getting involved with a man with a wondering eye and perverted comments. I know that I am going way off at this point. But I can't help but not care.

Every time she mentions his name I shudder. I don't like it. I hate this feeling. This better not be the beginning of something horrible. I have seen these kinds of problems on Oprah or Dr. Phil. "My step daughter is keeping my wife and I apart. "

I already feel like she's taken his side over mine and that he is the wedge between my mom and I . I haven't phoned her back because I don't know what to say. That has never happened and I have him to blame for that, and I hate that too. At this rate I'll never like him.

He has zero room for error now and as far as I am concerned he better be thinking up some classy, GENUINE way to woo me like he has mom.

Square Box Of Fun

Fun.

That is something I want to be apart of even moreso this year. I want to have more fun, with the simple pleasures in life. I don't know what it is about me, but I feel like half the time I'm not feeling up to a lot of things. Or I don't want to, I'd rather sit around in the comforts of my home. I am not lazy. I work my eight hours a day, forty a week usually and come home to go for my run, usually. Lazy people don't go for runs. At least I don't think so. But, activity wise, I need to buck up.

Rob and I are eachother's life. We have a couple of friends but we spend most of our time with eachother. So after awhile, we run out of things to do. I need to do more. Step outside of my comfort zone. Here I had thought I conquered all of that. But really I know I haven't. I want to be more adventurous, fearless. I can't really imagine being a fearless person. I bet it would be so refreshing.

The guys off of Jack Ass 2 aren't people that I necessarily look up to usually for .. anything. They're ridiculously entertaining, but I don't aspire to get to where they are. Johnny Knoxville is a fearless son of a bitch. He will pretty much do anything. I am not saying he is the smartest guy but he is afraid of nothing. He will look a bull right in the eyes and stand there waiting to see how badly it will hurt him. I'm sure his mother has already died of a heart attack after seeing some of the stunts he's pulled. But he has something that I don't have. Pain doesn't scare him like it does most. That is a big reason why I don't do a lot of things. Of course there are other reasons.

I don't like being rejected, or put in uncomfortable situations. I don't like to stay out too late when I have to work in the morning. I don' t like driving somewhere if I have never been there before, especially at night. I am a big wuss. I am afraid of everything it would seem. I have already quit smoking now for.. four months and started being more physical and eating better (not lately, but I am getting there again.) I will shoot for doing more. I want Rob to be able to ask me to go do something at any time and I will answer with a "Yes, let's do it. " Let's face it life is by far too short to be afraid of everything.

I asked Rob if he would go pool hopping once when we went by a really nice house once. He said yeah like it was no big deal. I would NEVER do something like that. What if we got caught? What if the people that lived there caught us and they were regulars where I worked? What happens if we got arrested? I'd be too embarrassed. I'd feel like such an idiot. Blah blah. I know that it's good to be responsible but only to a certain extent. A young lady that used to work with me was about 17 and she sounded like she had never done anything bad. Not really bad, but even a little bad. She didn't even have the curiosity to go out and drink a beer with a friend or stay out later than she was supposed to. She was way too responsible for her own good. All I wanted to do was corrupt her, just a little bit. Well I am sure that there is someone out there that looks at me and thinks the very same thing. I am a little too square sometimes. I need to unwind and do something I wouldn't normally do. It would be thrilling and certainly make our lives more interesting.

I want to do things that make me happy this year and I want to try new things. That is my goal for 2007; to quit being such a Haley about everything and have some damn fun!



See- this girl HATES fun. haha