Sunday, September 29, 2013

Just. Like. That.

 It's no secret; my mom went to a recovery center in 2006 to get her new beginning at life. Her vice is drinking beer. She's an alcoholic.

 Growing up with a mother that is an alcoholic is probably really traumatic and awful. But I wouldn't know anything about that. She wasn't that bad. She drank the most, once I was a teenager. I remember mixing beer, tobasco and clamato for her in the evenings when I was a pre-teen. It didn't bother me then, I considered this normal. It's literally my only memory of mom drinking when I was younger.
 Once I was a bit older and going to high school, I noticed that she would drink a few beers at night. My mom has had a back disability since I was 13 or 14. She had a few operations and was on heavy medication to manage the pain. When she would have a couple of beers, mixed with her medication it made her very sleepy. Her speech would slur and she wouldn't make sense when she spoke because she would get pretty out of it. That, was hard to see. It was shrugged off as funny if it happened in front of any of our friends. But in all honesty, it wasn't funny. It became dangerous when she was eating or smoking a cigarette because she would fall asleep with a mouth full of popcorn or with a lit cigarette.
 The drinking certainly didn't stop when Rudi was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2005. He passed away and she continued to drink, this time with purpose. I was 19 and still living at home. We decided to move to Vancouver Island to start a new life. Rudi was well known in our town and very respected and liked. It was difficult to go anywhere without the constant reminder from people, from places of what we lost. I ended up taking on a lot of the responsibility of moving because of mom's disability. I had a five bedroom house, with a full two car garage, two living rooms and what felt like a thousand closets to go through.. I had to decide what to keep, throw away or donate.. It was a very heavy task for a 19 year old. I didn't do it all alone. But to be honest, mom wasn't the best support system at that time. She was going through a misery all on her own. It would be an understatement if I simply wrote that we fought. We fought.... a lot.
 We moved from a five bedroom, two level house to a two bedroom mobile home in the middle of nowhere. We were a ten minute drive from two towns, but it was not the best place for a widow and her angry, sad 20 year old. Again, we fought. I left the house as much as I could. I worked, I partied. Mom stayed at home. Mom drank.
 It was mid September 2006 when mom phoned me to say she was going to a recovery center on Bowen Island. She admitted that she drank too much and wanted to change. Just. Like. That.
 September 24th, she went with my Auntie over to Bowen Island overnight. The next morning, she checked herself into recovery. The rest is history.

The first time we were able to visit with mom on Bowen Island.

The whole gang visiting mom at recovery..

  Last week we celebrated mom's 7 year birthday, her 'sobriety' birthday. Most recovering alcoholics refer to our actual birthday as our, 'belly button' birthday. I thought that was cute and wanted to share.
 Mom invited us over to her house for dinner last Wednesday, to celebrate her 7 years of sobriety. I happily accepted her invitation and was tickled pink that she wanted to share her special day with us. I think some alcoholics are bashful about such occasions when it comes to their families. Not everyone understands how the program works and then they don't respect it, like they should. I'm glad mom knows that I respect it enough, to have us come over on her special day to celebrate appropriately. The dinner was delicious and I felt very proud of her and all that she's accomplished over the past 7 years and as of very recently.

In her fav. spot at Baba's..

 Mom invited us to an opened AA meeting the following Saturday. Everyone that celebrates a birthday in AA receives a chip and then they get to have their birthday cake. So Alina and I eagerly agreed to join. Rob was busy working a side job for a friend, so he wasn't able to make it. I'm so glad I went to this meeting because it was the first time that I'd ever been to one. I really enjoyed listening to the people that shared. It is nice to be in a room full of people that are willing to openly share very personal life lessons, experiences straight from their hearts. I was honoured that the doors were open to Alina and I. I feel like mom is in very good hands when she goes to these meetings. She has a little family of her very own and that is a comforting feeling, knowing that she is well taken care of, outside of our family.

  Someone that has a close bond with mom stood up to share and she said something that really made me think.. I think that AA is good for people that need help with addiction but I also think it is good for everyone. I certainly learned a thing or two just sitting listening for one hour. A room full of strangers opening up will do that to anyone, I think. Excuse me, a room full of strangers opening up and speaking their truth.. will do that to anyone. The above quote is what my mom's friend shared and it has stuck with me ever since.
 It is difficult to express how proud I was of my mom on Saturday. My heart swelled with every "Happy Birthday" directed at her. I felt pride being there because it was the first time that mom's two world's met up. She deserves all of the good that she gets because of all of the good she's been giving.

Mom's 7 Year Chip (front side)
The Serenity Prayer on the backside. A true gift, to any recovering alcoholic... the symbol that "You're doing it!!!"

  If someone had asked me to share.. it would have gone a little something like this:

 "Hi. My name's Haley and I'm here to support my mom Kim. This is the first time that I've been to a meeting and I have to say that I am so glad that I came. It is very inspiring to hear all of the stories being shared today. They're not even stories, but just people's honest thoughts. I like how open everyone is here, it is very contagious and I think that's why people do so well in this program. The positive energy coming off of everyone here, is inspiring. I'm really proud of my mom everyday, but especially today, on her birthday. She wasn't herself when she drank and she recently wasn't herself when she stopped going to meetings. Since she has returned, I feel like I have gotten my mom back again.
 My mom always had a great attitude going into the program. She spoke openly and was honest with herself and her family about everything. I found that mom opened her arms to sobriety with such grace and ease. I'm sure it wasn't easy for her, but she has always shown great poise in the way that she has dealt with it. Some people really struggle but I feel like as soon as mom decided to stop drinking, that was it. She stopped. It's support that she needs. The love and the hugs, the well wishes and the friendships that keep her smiling. It is all of you that have helped save my mom. So thank you, for being here everyday. Thank you, for giving her something to belong to.. "

(Mom if you want, you can bring that to your next meeting and share it.. because I wanted to say something on your behalf yesterday..)

Alina and Mom on her 'birthday'..
 My name is Haley and my mom is an alcoholic... and it's okay!

Friday, September 27, 2013

Girl Time

 I am a loyal Ellen watcher. I think everyone knows who I'm referring to when I simply say, Ellen. Ellen Degeneres is most definitely at the peak of her career. Everyone loves her, knows who she is and wants her attention. Last season, she had her friend Bethenny Frankel on the show several times. Bethenny originally started out on The Real Housewives of New York and exploded like a bomb all over t.v after that. She starred in a few reality shows, became an author and a successful entrepreneur. Now she has her own daytime television show called, "Bethenny". At first I wasn't sure about her when she appeared on Ellen. I found her annoying and just to be too much. But, once her show premiered this fall, I started watching. I came to realize that her show is a lot like a girl's night out, with my gal pals. After a week of watching, I am now a fan. She talks openly about everything; sex, marriage,break ups, celebrities, etc. I enjoy listening to her panel of "experts" discuss various topics. The content is usually about things we only discuss with our best of girlfriends, while drinking too much wine. That, is what I am digging about "Bethenny". 

 Do you ever go out with your girlfriends and tell yourself; I will not talk about that, that is way too personal. My significant other would just die if he knew I was even thinking about talking about that.. As soon as you enter the room, the wine is opened and so is your mouth. Out spills exactly what you prepped yourself not to discuss..!! I do it all of the time. I confess, I have a BIG mouth. I don't mean to, but I just get excited being around my girls or any girls and the vibe is right and I just have to share..
 I will admit that moving to a different province from where I grew up is hard. The people I grew up around are big mouths too. They chat about inappropriate stuff all of  the time. But I quickly discovered that people from British Columbia are not the same. They are more likely going to quiet down once I start getting inappropriate and just listen. I can't tell if they're offended and shocked by what I have said and their silence is simply just their loss for words. Or, are they simply being quiet because they like what I'm saying and don't hear enough of it and want me to continue? Either way, I continue.. What is fun about being quiet and not jumping into a juicy, hot topic of discussion with a bunch of harmless women? I'll tell you; NOTHING. Women that are surrounded by their demanding children and their MALE significant others need to let out some of that female steam. I say, MALE because they are simply not female. Women need other women in their lives. I know I do.

 Moving to British Columbia has been tough on me, based on friendships only. I do have friends. Ladies that I used to play baseball with, that invite me out to their birthday parties, epicure parties and to go on mommy dates during the day. I absolutely value all of these outings because without them I would be very bored. But, I still haven't connected with that one woman enough that I feel like I can grab the phone and call her up to talk about .. nothing. I do have texting friendships. Bah- the 21st century is such a bitch on my social life. It's good and it's bad. I text another woman almost daily just to see what she's up to with her little girl. I enjoy being able to do that because then I don't have to commit to having a full conversation. She has a baby, I have a baby. We're busy and not busy all at once. Like for instance right now.. Alina was having a nap. While she napped, I quickly got dressed, put on make up, etc. Then I was distracted by the dirty bathroom, so I quickly cleaned it. Then, I realized I hadn't finished washing the dishes, so I washed them. Rob called me from work and tells me about his day so far, while he eats his lunch. I make another cup of coffee because I know this one will be enjoyed hot. I start writing in my blog today and baby girl wakes up. She is awake right now, blowing raspberries and rolling around in her crib. I'm watching her in her monitor.

 She's fine, but that just goes to show that I was just busy for the last half an hour, doing nothing. If a friend had phoned during that half hour I would have ignored it. I feel like my time.. I mean my time is too precious. I only get a few half hour bursts in a day. I appreciate them and try to do things for me at that time. So I suppose texting friends suits me just fine for right now.

 Holly, my best bud that I met out here in B.C. We met almost eight years ago, working at a coffee shop. Our friendship blossomed from there. I would base our friendship on the fact that we liked to party together. We usually each had a bottle of wine, played some music and talked our little faces off. I went to her house once and we made cupcakes, nachos and had a full on girl gab night until we cried. No joke, we both ended the night crying because 1. We got pretty drunk. 2. We got into some deep discussions about some really personal stuff. 3. We were allowed to be open with each other. No judgment, just girl gab. I loved every minute of it. (Not so much the morning after, but those are decisions we have to make in order to have a really good night with a really good friend!)

Oh yeah, Holly and I always end up dressing up in prom dresses, use props for pictures or just wear goofy hats. I love my Holls. She is B.C. born and now living in Alberta.
Kimberly is my mommy buddy. We work together, and both became pregnant around the same time. We had our pregnancies in common, we have our baby girls in common and we text each other on a regular basis. We hang out with our girls and it is really nice to have a friend to have things in common with. It's so important to have a girlfriend that shares current experiences with you. Kim and I hang out, doing mommy things. We both agree, that it would be nice if we could get together for more enjoyable things; like having a box glass of wine.

Carmelle was my party pal. She is from back home and was always, always up for a good time. She was willing to do anything, as long as she knew it was going to be fun. Carmelle and I were the closest in grade 12. She was always the go-to friend you went to immediately after a harsh break up. She would always make you feel better. She was always having parties at her house, despite her mother's shaking fist. Carmelle was a good time. She visited this summer and I can't remember laughing so hard in a long, long time.

Morgan is my childhood friend that I met in grade four and we hit it off immediately. She is also the friend I mentioned as my pen pal in my last post. We shared the love of reading and writing. Morgan and I had different groups of friends in high school. But we never stopped being buddies. I love my friendship with Morgan because we can always pick up where we last left off. It doesn't matter if it was eight years ago, we will always be able to find something interesting to talk about. I love chatting with Morgan, the most actually, on the phone. The only bad thing about talking to her on the phone is that we can talk for three hours without even thinking about it. So sadly, we don't get a chance to talk much anymore. We actually have to schedule in a phone date. How sad is that!? I value Morgan's friendship because it has lasted the test of time. I think we'll forever be friends. We'll be writing letters as old ladies. I truly believe that.

Katie, my best friend. We have known each other since grade two. We had play dates together, where we played Barbies. We lived in the same neighbourhood so we spent a lot of time after school together. Katie and I grew to be very close. She was the one friend that was always there for me emotionally, throughout every break up, every tragedy, everything. She's amazing. She has a tough exterior but a huge, warm heart. Katie is also my dirtiest minded friend. Her head is always in the gutter, in fact it lives in the gutter. She says things that you want to say, but don't. She is also a great person to talk to. She is the one and only friend that I talk on the phone with regularly. We always had a lot in common. Today, we are the two friends that are married and have kids of our own.

Family is obviously most important. But every once in awhile, when the family is making me cuckoo I need to get away. When Rob isn't paying attention to what I am saying and I realize it after I have been talking animatedly for a few minutes.. Or maybe the baby is just so demanding that I want to be able to pee without having to leave her howling in another room.. I may just need a female outing. An evening away from the demands and the deaf ears. I want to be able to talk about a good looking tattooed dad at the pool the other day. It's harmless, but he was cute and I want to tell someone! Or about how I am dealing with being a new-ish mom and balancing being a wife and ME all at once. I want to bitch about having to be the one who remembers to clean the toilet.. Weird! It doesn't just clean itself!!!
 A girl's night out doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be out at a club or even dancing. I just want to be in a room with women, some tunes, great finger food, some drinks and the freedom to talk.. It's like medicine to my soul. It gives me the reboot I need, to face the days ahead. I probably get a good girl's night out every few months. (lately.) I am currently working on getting together with Rob's Aunties. They are the best, and they always know how to have a little fun.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Wanna Be My Pen Pal?

 As a kid I was in love with sending mail to friends or cousins. I always named a cousin I would recently visit as my new pen pal. Fast forward a couple of weeks later and they would receive their first letter in the mail from me! It's so exciting that my cousin tells her mom and then her mom phones mine. My mom tells me that my cousin got her letter and she was very excited. Mission almost accomplished. Then the waiting game began... Days, weeks.. sometimes months go by.. no returned letter. Finally I would get that prized letter I had been waiting so long for!!! It didn't matter that it was four sentences long.. It didn't matter that it took two whole months to get to me! I had succeeded. We were now forever pen pals!

A sample of some of the letters from different cousins..

 I would instantly get out my Mickey Mouse themed stationary, or my personalized note paper that my step mom made me and I would set out to writing the best damn letter as a reply. But, what I didn't realize at the time, was that my cousins rarely wrote me back.. It was fun the first time, but it obviously didn't mean as much to them as it did to me. I still have the letters. I actually have every single letter that has ever been written to me in a box that I keep in my closet.

  I would recruit anyone and everyone to be my new pen pal. My dad, my step mom, my little step sister, my cousins as I mentioned before and when I went to the Ukrainian Village I made two pen pals there. Those two girl from the Ukrainian Village actually kept writing me the longest, out of everyone. We even sent each other school pictures. I know!! Pictures.. actual pictures were in the envelopes with the letters I received. This was beyond exciting to this little composing nerd. I loved getting letters..! I ended up finding a school friend that enjoyed writing as much as I did. Whenever we went anywhere in the summer we would write each other either with a postcard or a full on letter.

A pile of postcards.. a lot were from my dad. He traveled a lot with his band at that time in his life. So we got postcards from all over from him. Very exciting!

Now I'm just showing off my collection of letters...

 Even now, as an adult, I still have pen pals. I write to my Grandma Wirth. She is my step dad's mom that lives in the town I grew up in, in Alberta. She is from Germany and she writes like she speaks. So her letters sound just like her. I try to keep her and Grandpa involved with what is going on in my life as much as I possibly can. They are wonderful people but not always good at expressing how they feel. So the letters are a way for me to express my love to them. In return, Grandma does her best to write me back, with her own way of letting me know that she loves me too.

The last time I got a chance to sit down and visit with them, back in 2005.

 Rob's grandma called me the other day to confess that she stole a picture that I sent Rob's mom and dad of Alina. She actually called to tell me in her sheepish way, that she only had one or two pictures of our baby girl. So right then and there, over the phone I declared that from that day forward; she too, would be my newest pen pal. I had some pictures developed of Alina recently and made sure to get some doubles so that I could send some to Grandma Marlene, with a full letter of course.

Grandma Marlene in our backyard, the summer of our wedding.

 I am also still pen pals with my school friend I mentioned before. Morgan and I have always written letters back and fourth since we graduated from high school and moved our separate ways. She was the first to move away. She went to Toronto to go to school in journalism. She's actually been in school since we graduated, almost ten years ago. So, she is now getting her Masters degree in Edmonton and has a home of her own, that she shares with her long time boyfriend and their dog. I believe she is next for replying to my latest letter, but life has been busy for her, what with school starting this September.

Loving on Morgan a couple of summers ago!

  Today I set out to write Grandma Marlene her first letter. But instead, I bought some ad space on a fellow blogger's page. I made a few more pretty buttons for my page. Then, I read to Alina, then played with her and put her down for a nap. My computer started to act up on me and wouldn't upload the pictures I took on my camera. So, instead of writing that darn letter, I wrote a post about all of my letters instead. Fail! But, I think tonight once the little one settles in for the night, I'll get my chance.. Oh no! I won't. The t.v has become far too tempting to keep away from.. All of the new seasons have begun, the new shows are premiering and we are trying to catch all of the pilots so we can start watching new, exciting shows. (Like we need more shows to be addicted to!!!) Plus, I started reading my book again and have since become stuck on that as well. For someone that doesn't do a whole heck of a lot, I sure am busy!!

 So if you are ever looking for a pen pal, I am always, always looking for an excuse to receive a letter!

There is always room for more letters in my collection...

Monday, September 23, 2013

The Perfect Match

 This morning, after I had Alina bathed and put in her exersaucer to burn off some of that early morning energy it got me thinking... I always put the kettle on for my coffee and I take Alina's bottle of milk out of the fridge and warm it with hot water. The process of heating her bottle and pressing my coffee takes about the same amount of time. While I pour my first cup of coffee, I pour her first bowl of cereal. I sip at my coffee in between spooning scoops of her breakfast into her mouth.
 Alina and I have spent every waking moment together. She's been with me before she even knew what anything was. I was there for her first kick because I felt it in my stomach. I was there when she breathed her first breath. I was there when she smiled, laughed and rolled over for the first time. She wakes up in the middle of the night, I'm there to sooth her back to sleep. We've been through a lot together. I came to realize, that we're not so different her and I.

 Alina's breakfast consists of milk, some powder to add to the milk to make her mushy cereal. She loves it and eats it every morning.
 My breakfast consists of cream, some coffee grinds to make my decaffeinted coffee. I love drinking a hot cup of coffee every morning.

Alina's breakfast...
My breakfast...
   I have to get outfits ready for both of us, every morning. She wears what I put out for her and I wear what I put out for me.. obviously...

Alina's outfit..

My outfit...
  We have matching laundry baskets. Her's is smaller, but I am starting to think that she may need a larger one...

Alina's laundry.. (looks like I need to get some done today...)
My laundry... (lucky for me Alina's Dad did our laundry last night..!)
 On the subject of clothing.. Alina and I have matching outfits. I did get mine first.. I was pregnant with Alina when we purchased my sleeper.. It is the comfiest, coziest pair of pajamas that I own to date. We went to Sears yesterday and bought Alina her fuzzy sleeper for the winter months, plus it was on sale plus it was stupidly cute.. we couldn't resist...

LadyBug Baby 6 months old.. in her fuzzy, fleece sleeper!
Modelling my sleeper.. 6 months pregnant.
  Alina is a growing baby that likes to keep herself busy and amused. She is constantly growing and with each passing day, she plays with different toys that help her growth and development. Some of her toys are just for sucking on or cuddling with too.
 I'm on maternity leave, so I don't have to go to work everyday anymore. It is absolutely delightful. But I too need things to stimulate my mind and keep me busy everyday. I suppose the things that keep me busy are like toys.. 

These are just a select few of her favourite things. ALL of her soothers, her aquarium that sometimes helps her fall asleep, Mikey and George- the monkeys she ALWAYS sleeps with, her sheep blanket that keeps her warm and the little owl and Elmo that she spits and drools all over. Oh, did I forget the pink sandal that she never wears, but chews on? The best part of having a pair of shoes used for a a chew toy...? She has two of them!

My toys; the lap top is a must for blog writing. My Kindle for all of my reading needs. The Samsung tablet for reading blogs in bed. My journal for my daily journal entries, my cell phone and my guitar. I would be very upset if any of these prized posessions went missing!

We are dressed, fed and ready for our day to begin. Alina has been spending a lot more time on her play mat, hanging out on her tummy. She has since very recently decided that being on her tummy isn't the torture that it used to be. She does roll back and fourth from her stomach to her back when she feels like it. But one of her favourite hangs outs is still her exersaucer aka her office. She is always very busy, content and happy when she's playing in her office. 
 My office, since I am not at work right now, has been sitting in my rocking chair with the computer on my lap. It is probably my favourite place to be lately. I have kept myself busy with new blog post ideas, composing new posts, reading and commenting on some of my favourite blogs and brainstorming and planning on getting a new design for my blog. When I get a spare moment to myself it is being spent on my computer. 

Alina in her office, busy as can be.

This is where you can find me once Alina has gone to bed...

 One very important thing that Alina and I are fortunate to have in common is the man in our life. My husband, Rob and her Daddy. He loves Alina so much that it makes my heart hurt sometimes. I love watching a good Dad, with a child. I find it to be so touching and sexy all at the same time. Alina was blessed to have such a good man in her life and so am I. 

Sneaking a kiss with her Daddy.

A candid shot taken by my brother in law this summer.

 Alina and I not only share the same middle name, although that was no coincidence.. we share a special bond. We are linked through blood and one day I hope to be connected as not just mother and daughter, but as friends. 

One really fun thing about having a daughter.. is you can dress alike! I know, corny.. but I think we make a pretty good match...

Saturday, September 21, 2013

What The Fox Say?

Okay, this song is really stupid. BUT, it is so funny and I promise the more you listen to it.. the funnier it gets. It's like me and sushi. I tried it for the first time and thought it was pretty gross. Then, the next time I was around people eating sushi, I asked if I could try a piece. Suddenly, I was hooked! Now I am a total sushi lover. It's just like this video. I heard it on Ellen two days ago. I got Rob hooked on it yesterday after work. This morning I woke up and decided that Alina needed to hear this catchy tune about a fox.. again. (Yes, Alina needed to hear it.....)  I started my day listening to this and now can't stop humming or singing; "Ring-ding-ding-ding-ding-ading!"
 Humour me people and have a listen, you won't regret it; the second or third time..!!


(Yeah, I know I'm late.. But this is my first time linking up with Miss Yoga Pants for Friday's BackThatAzzUp. How appropriate that it is THE BEST song ever.. You're Welcome 20 Followers!)

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Slacker Parenting.. Yes Please!

"Slacker Parenting"- has anyone else heard of this? Apparently it is a new term for something that has been going on for many, many years. I heard about it on the radio yesterday morning. To be more specific, a slacker mom has more of a laid back approach to parenting. She doesn't check her children's homework to make sure that it is free of mistakes, or finished. She is somewhat organized but forgets to sign the odd permission slip or may even send a child off to school without a lunch. So basically, she's human and not perfect. I like it.

 There's been big discussions about slacker parenting. Are you a slacker parent? Is it wrong to admit to being a slacker parent? Were your parents slacker parents?

 On the radio a large number of people phoned in to share their stories. Most of these listeners were raised in the 1970's when the world was a lot less violent. Parents weren't worried about their kids being kidnapped as soon as they were out of sight. But at the same time, some of the stories were shocking.
 One story was of a four year old that walked home from school alone. She had to cross a highway intersection on her own and would sometimes end up at the wrong babysitter's house. She was supposed to go to different sitters on different days of the week. But of course, she was four and wouldn't likely know what day it was...  I would call that one Bad Parenting..

Another story was two kids riding in the car with their parents straight from the grocery store. The parents pulled into a pub and told the kids that they were going in to have a jug of beer. They opened a bag of chips and two pops and left them there for a couple of hours. Again, this was in the 1970's. Again, I would call this Bad Parenting.

 I read an article from a woman that considers herself a slacker mom and is proud of it. She talks about some of the things that she allows her boys to do..

She lets the older boys pack lunches for themselves and the younger boys everyday. Her younger sons can pour their own cereal in the morning. One middle son can whip up "a mean spaghetti" for supper. ... Slacker Parenting.  The boys also do not go to summer camp in the warm months because it is too much money, too much of an effort to get them all packed up and taken to each different camp every morning. Instead, she has them stay home and play together. They ride their bikes in the neighbourhood, make lunches to eat together, play video games and other activities that boys like to do.  ... Slacker Parenting.

  Honestly, I think that slacker parenting is the way to go! I refuse to be a "Helicopter Parent". Hovering over and smothering children is the worst approach in my opinion. I find it to be so invasive and irritating. Kids need to be kids. They need to get dirty, to make mistakes and to have some independence at an early age. I have friends that are such helicopter parents. One has two boys and she is constantly babying them. She asks so many questions about everything. It is suffocating now and the boys are young. Wait until her boys become tweens, they'll learn fast to answer her nagging questions with short, vague answers.
 Obviously, everyone has a right to how they want to parent. But some people, or moms specifically need to learn to back off, to let go and allow their kids to do things on their own. I want to be the best "Slacker Mom" Alina has ever known! I don't want to hover over her while she's doing her homework. I will want her to know that we are around if she needs help, but not to rely on us for every question. She will need to learn to have independent thoughts so she can build up her confidence at a young age. I won't be running behind her when she learns how to walk, covering any sharp edges of tables with the palms of my hands.. I won't buy her those water wings that stretch across the child's torso. I just find them to be the perfect example of people being overly protective. How many children in the past have done just fine swimming in water wings, with the proper supervision? She will wear a regular bathing suit, not one that covers every bit of skin on her body. She has been using a blanket at night and not a sleep sack because I am not afraid of her suffocating herself. So many children in this world, survived having slept with a blanket at an early age. I think she's going to be okay. It's no way to live.. It's exhausting and unnecessary.

I mean, let the kid TRY swimming with water wings.. This is just going to hold him up uncomfortably and then tip the poor bastard over.

This is a Japanese floaty device for babies. It fastens (Safely!) around the neck and the baby just floats in the water. This is an example of our Slacker Parenting... There were A LOT of people looking at Alina with concerned looks on their faces... But guess what? She survived. AND she liked it too. Go figure!

She was flying a plane the other day.. boy did we get some serious glares for that one! BUT- she landed the plane and now she knows how to fly a plane!!

 I want Alina to be strong. I want her to not question herself and I want her to be able to do things that aren't usually expected of a child her age. I would love for her to be able to help me make supper and to help dad chop wood. I want her to be safe, but I also don't want to shelter her from every, little possible bump or scratch along the way.

 My name is Haley and I am definitely already a Slacker Parent and I can honestly say, I am proud to be one!

 If you are a parent.. are you a slacker parent? If you aren't a parent yet.. what kind of parent do you think you'll be!?

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Poop Face

Today I choose to answer some questions that were asked of me, by Amanda at Rhyme and Ribbons . She is one of my absolute favourite bloggers because she is quirky and weird. She seems to enjoy the small things in life, which I will always admire in a person. I really enjoy reading about her life because she's an American actress, living in the United Kingdom with her cute, english boyfriend and the two of them go on grand adventures all over the UK. If you haven't seen her blog before- check out this post because she gives out some random facts about herself that will make you want to follow her blog from now on!

"Amanda.. these are my 20 blog followers.. 20 blog followers.. Amanda." (You're welcome..)

1. What's one thing you're currently looking forward to?

I am currently looking forward to... Christmas with my baby girl and husband. Of course, another Alina answer. But, she will be nine months old on the 8th of December. (which I can't imagine!!) She'll be crawling around by then and probably speaking more gibberish. I can't imagine how much fun she is going to be. We'll get to do all of our traditional Christmas things as always, but with our baby right there alongside us..! We always go to this gorgeous lights festival, with hot chocolate and flashlights in hand. We take the same pictures every year and then we buy a few Christmas ornaments for our tree. We are serious Christmas people. We do not mess around, which will become more clear once the holiday season is upon us...

This is a cute little room filled with teddy bears. Children are supposed to try and guess how many bears are displayed inside. I couldn't find all of the times that we've been there, taking the same picture. But this is a sample. (I'm pregnant in the bottom one. Heehee)

 2. What is your favourite post on your blog?

This, is quite difficult to answer. A lot of my posts from my past are deep. I was in an ugly place and I was sharing a lot of my feelings back then. I still share my feelings, but I think I have lightened up the content quite a bit since then. There are two in particular that stand out in my memory right now...

 (I am sharing this post from 2006 because I wrote it like a story.. It takes my readers into a time when things were simpler; an average evening from someone's point of view.)
(This post was written in 2010, on Remembrance Day. I was inspired because that day we remember those that we've lost. So I was paying tribute to my Fallen Fathers.)

3. Who is your best friend and why? 

 My sister Kyli, is my best friend. She's been there for me since before I existed. She was old enough to be excited about me, before I even knew what me was. She was almost six when I was born and she acted like a doting mother ever since. Ky and I weren't always close, but we always shared a special bond. She just visited in August, with her growing family. I feel so blessed that we got to see each other again, after three years. She lives on the East Coast, while I am living on the West. I joke that she's the Wicked Witch of the East, and I'm the Wicked Witch of the West. The love for my sister is unique because no matter what, I will always, always admire and adore her. She can do no wrong in my eyes...

 4. Are you a spender or a saver?

Oh I am a thrify S.O.B. It is my husband that likes to shop. I always joke that I am like a guy when we go to the mall. I will sit with all the guys, impatiently holding their girlfriends' purses, playing on their Iphones in the change rooms. I have to hold onto his hand when we pass certain stores because he naturally drifts towards them. He is always finding deals and discounts, which I will admit is handy. If it wasn't for Rob I would probably still be wearing clothes that I brought with me eight years ago, from Alberta. 
 I don't necessarily save my money. I just choose not to spend it. When I was a kid, I used to save my allowance, which was a two dollar bill (remember those!?!?) and keep it in an old pickle jar. When I'd have a huge amount of money saved, (like twenty dollars, huge amount to a kid) I would take it with me the next time the family went to Edmonton. My parents would take me to Toys 'R' Us and I would spend it on whatever my heart desired. That is one hell of an amazing feeling as a kid. Actually, it's an amazing feeling as an adult too. When Rob wanted his "dream" guitar, he had to put the guitar on lay away. It took him six months, or more and he slowly went to the music store and paid it off, bit by bit. He took stuff he no longer used to the pawn shops for extra cash. He did everything he could to make some extra money. He later told me that that was the best way to buy something that he really wanted. You feel like you've truly earned it. 

5. What's your favourite joke?

 Well I am horrible at telling jokes. So the first and only one that I remember to tell is pretty simple. So I'm going to have to go with that one....

Why does a squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry!

This must be a girl squirrel;)
6. What is one hobby you would like to learn, but haven't? 

 I would love to learn how to knit, or sew, or quilt.. like hardcore! I would love to be able to knit my own sweaters, or socks. I would really love to be able to get behind a sewing machine and just create beautiful, useful items! This is something I don't think I'll ever have the patience to do. Maybe when I'm older I'll finally tackle this dream!!

My sister in law is a knitting machine. She taught Rob and I a couple of Christmas' ago.. I already forget.... sigh!

7. What's your favourite part of the day?

 I enjoy early morning, only when I choose to be up... The streets are empty-ish. There is so much promise to the day.. so many things can be accomplished, it's motivating. Plus I really enjoy the quiet and calm that early morning brings. Although, it's been awhile since I've been out and about early in the morning.

This could be a sunset, but it is a nice picture of our beach.
8. What's your favourite dish to order at a restaurant?

 This is not an easy question to answer, at all! I have so many favourite things to order. BUT- I will say that my all time favourite thing right now.. is the Dinosaur Bones that are only served on Tuesdays at a lounge in town. I am getting hungry just thinking about it. For our 3rd wedding anniversary, we went out for dinner and had them. Y-U-M ! ! !

9. You have a time machine and you can change one thing in your past without having negative consequences, what would it be?

 I would not have gotten into that horrible fight with my dad, months before my wedding. I told him that I would rather just have my mom walk me down the aisle. He flipped his lid. I had never experienced anything like it from him. It was beyond awful. We both screamed at each other over the phone and we both said things we wished we hadn't. In the end, I changed my mind and asked him to walk me down the aisle with my mom. What I didn't realize at the time was just how sick he already was at that point. He had kept that part from me and my siblings. Thinking back I can't believe I got him so worked up, when he was already having such a hard time. I still feel bad about that one. I would definitely skip that fight. ( He traveled to my town for the wedding, and then never made it to the actual event. He was too sick. So in the end, he didn't walk me down the aisle after all of that trouble!)

10. Who is your imaginary celebrity bestie?

 Oooh, good question!! Zooey Deschanel. She is quirky, funny and doesn't give a damn! I think we have the potential to be besties because she isn't like most girls. I don't think drama and Zooey Deschanel go in the same sentence. So, Zooey if you are ever reading my blog; will you be my bestie? Plus, if we were besties I could borrow her cute shoes she is always wearing on New Girl.

This is us at the Oscars. I would wear my wedding dress because I always wanted a reason to wear it again! I would reassure Zooey that she doesn't look pale.. even though she does;)
11. What is the one movie you could watch over and over again?

 I am a movie lover. So there are many movies that I have watched over and over again. But I do have some absolute all time favourites that when I see them on t.v. it doesn't matter if I just saw it a year ago, I am going to watch it again..

I adore this movie. It's based around the holidays so it always gives off that lovely Christmas buzz. I love all of the stories within the movie and it always makes me laugh.. every. single. time.

 Another chick flick, but mixed with comedy, tragedy and a great family dynamic. It tears me up every time and I will always say YES to the viewing of this movie. (Set at Christmas, again..)

I absolutely adore this movie. I am a huge Beatles fan and found that this movie really did their songs justice. I watched the making of this film and was in awe with how much went into it. A total masterpiece. If you have yet to see it, you must!!

 I always enjoy answering questions because it makes creating an idea for a blog, that much easier! I spent a lot of my afternoon writing this post, so I better get to my baby girl who is currently making these faces:

Yes, folks.. that would be Alina's POOP face.