Saturday, August 31, 2013

Baby Gone Batty

It's been awhile since I've posted about my baby girl, Alina. She continues to be my day to day and it is hard to think up non-Alina related things to blog about because she is usually sitting by me smiling, blowing spitty raspberries and shrieking in happiness. (So cute, so distracting.)

Being 'batty' with her dad.

 She's recently entered a phase at night time.. usually around 6 pm, where she turns crazy. Rob calls it the "witching hour". We still aren't completely sure why she gets like that, but without fail 6 pm rolls around and she's a mad woman baby!
 No, it has a lot to do with her getting tired and we don't want to put her down for a nap because she'll over sleep and then she won't be going to bed at her usual 8 pm.  I love my baby with all of my heart but once the clock ticks 8 pm, it's Mom and Dad time! I don't mean that in a dirty way, I mean it in a "me time" way. She gets tired and then she gets wild. She sits in her little exersaucer aka her office and chews on anything and every thing that she can get her dripping with spit, little hands on..!
   The "witching hour" is not an uncommon thing either. I was at a play date (yes, I just wrote that.. I am now a woman that goes to play dates!) with a few other moms and they all agreed that their little ones get a bit rambunctious before bedtime too.

Okay, not too crazy in this one...yet.

Ohhh there's my crazy girl..!

Alina is nearing six months at the end of next week and I can comfortably admit that she is a good baby. She really is. She sits quietly playing by herself a lot during the day. I don't leave her to play alone all day long, but if I wanted to I know that I could and she would be just fine. My girlfriend was in town months ago and she was impressed with how well Alina took to her surroundings. I have stations all around the house that I put her in. There's the exersaucer which is her newest and absolute favourite spot. She stands in that thing and plays to her heart's content. I put her in it so often because she loves it. She used to love her swing but now that she's older she doesn't like being on her back as much. We have a new swing, that can be tied to a tree branch that we've introduced. She's a little dare devil and really enjoys swinging up up up in that one! It doesn't matter where she is, she is usually happy.

 One way that we can get Miss A calm when she's in one of her whacky moods, besides an early bedtime is with the guitar. That baby LOVES her some music. But not just music, live music. It doesn't matter what she's doing, where she is, mid cry, mid bite; as soon as the music starts, her attention goes right to the guitar. I love that she is so into it. I can only hope that she'll be interested enough when she can learn to play herself. I really want her to play one day.

So, this post was really all about my girl. I love her and can't help writing about her from time to time! She's my world exclusively this year. Next year, she'll still be my world but I'll be working full time again. I'm enjoying every last minute, full time with her. I don't even want to imagine what I'll miss when I return to work!!!

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Ailurophobia- say whaaa?

Alright, it's time to share with the world one quirky thing about me.. I have a fear of cats.

Now it's not an intense fear like some people have for spiders and snakes. I can see a cat and it doesn't gross me out or scare the hell out of me. I can even have them near me. But, I don't trust them. No one should trust a cat. (*Unless they are very familiar with that particular cat and it has been good for many, many years and has built up trust. There are exceptions.)

 I loathe the walking fur balls for a few reasons.

//1 Cats have sharp teeth and claws. I know a lot of animals with teeth and claws that I can be comfortable around. Cats have sharp teeth and claws and I don't trust them. It's called common sense people... If someone you don't trust is sitting near you, with a sharp knife in one hand and a broken bottle in the other, I'm pretty sure you're going to go ahead and leave that situation as fast as possible.

//2 I am allergic, as in VERY allergic. My girlfriend has four cats and I've visited her place twice since I moved away. She will clean that house from top to bottom, bleaching, sweeping, dusting, vacuuming- you name it. I will walk in and within five minutes I'm sneezing. I sneeze and she promptly yells, "Son of a bitch, already!!!??" I have always been allergic so I don't know how to handle a cat because I've never actually held one before.

This is how I feel when I'm super allergic to cats.. Drooling, snotting, half in a daze from allergy pills that aren't working!!!

  //3 Cats are completely foreign to me. I am allergic so I just don't hold cats. I have always kept away from them because I have to.. Cats are always drawn to me for some reason too.( I think they sniff out my apprehension towards them.) They will hop up onto my lap and this has actually happened a number of times in different scenarios. I never know what to do. I am always really uneasy and very politely ask the owner if they could please get their cat off of me. Like I said, I don't know how to handle them and plus, I don't trust them therefore I don't touch them.

Okay, so this picture basically makes me a liar. It is the FIRST time I ever held a cat. Such a moment that I made Rob take FOUR pictures of me....!

 //4 The stories!! How many horror cat stories have I heard in my lifetime!?!? A million- that's how many. I recently read a post from a fellow blogger and good family friend about her new kitten that just had me howling with laughter but also completely proving my point and theory on cats; they can't be trusted!! There's a show called "My Cat From Hell".. and the cats on this show are terrifying!!

(If you get a minute, check out this one. There were many, many horrifying cats with some serious deep seeded issues- this was just one..!)

//5  Bad experiences. We had family friends growing up that had a mean cat, Fritz. You didn't mess with him. I never did but he was pretty bad ass. I remember going into the bathroom once to wash my hands and I turned around and there Fritz was, half a tail, scratches and scars on his face from cat fights, blocking my exit. I just remember nervously yelling for my mom to rescue me. My dad had a hay wire cat named Tux that was just wild. I always slept on the couch at my dad's and Tux would just wait for my hand to drop in my sleep. He didn't ever do anything, he just spazzed out all of the time and freaked me out in the process. Max- my Auntie's crazy kitten that would attack my baby cousin's FACE. Yup, his cute little unsuspecting face. Terrified the crap out of me. My best friend, with her four cats... I stayed at her house two years ago on the pull out couch. Cats sleep during the day and yup- you guessed it.. they're up all night, or at least her's were. So I was going to sleep and I could hear them running, playing and fighting all around me. UNDER my bed.. it made my back arch in fear. I remember wanting to let them out of the house so I could relax and get some sleep but I was too terrified to get off of my bed in fear that one of them was waiting under the bed for my bare ankles to drop and attack. Shudder. No joke, I just shuddered.

 //6 Catmares. Oh yes, that's a word. I made it up, based on the nightmares I have of cats. I have no idea when these nightmares started but it has been in the last ten years. I used to have one for sure a month. Lately I have had a catmare maybe once every two to three months. I even know in my dream what is going on. I see a cat and I'm like, "Oh shit. It's a f**king cat, here we go. This is turning bad really soon." The cat is normal at first but then something happens and boom that cat is always and I mean always attacking me. Biting me, and not letting go. I pull it off and it's jaw latches onto another body part. It's awful and gruesome and seriously f**cking terrifying. Plus the cats in my dreams are like f**cking cat ninjas. They can get through tiny cracks under closed and locked doors. I am never safe. I wake up out of breath and always sweating my ass off. I am soaked after a catmare. It sucks...

"Sweet Dreams"

So yeah, I'm afraid of cats. They make me nervous. A cat enters the room and I am like, "Ohhhh you have a cat. Great." I instantly have the urge to bring my knees up to my chin and to hold onto my ankles and feet to prevent any temptations to these untrustworthy psychopaths. It's not their fault- they're cats! They can't help their psycho tendencies.. it's who they are....!

But I will be nice and admit that I have met one cat that melts my heart. Rob's parents have two cats; Buddy and Carling. Buddy is still kind of psycho. I remember coming home from the bar and I was pretty wasted. I decided I wasn't afraid of cats anymore and I started petting Bud. Buddy goes kind of creepy when you pet him. He gets really into every pet like he's never had human hands touch his head before.. When I decided to stop he clawed at me to continue and that was enough to give me a heart attack. But, Carling is a sweet cat. He is so lazy that even if I angered him he would probably just talk about me to his cat friends instead of do anything about it.

A very lazy, very happy Carling.

Oh and don't even get me started on BIG cats. Sometimes just to freak myself out, I go on Google and type in the words black panther and I work up my nerve to press ENTER. Oh. My. God. I just did it so that I could use the link on my blog and I am sweating. No JOKE! I am seriously sweating. The very image of a black panther snarling makes me want to pee my pants.
So there it is! My big fear of cats is out. Now Blogland knows of my weird, quirky fear and my strange never ending catmares. Please feel free to feel sorry for me... If you have a cat, be careful.... they can not be trusted..

Oh and I guarantee I'll be having a catmare soon just because I wrote about cats and googled black panthers AND searched so many cat images. Darn it!!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

This Is Me Today

 A girlfriend of mine told me about this commercial that was on t.v. and I had to find it online. 

 A retired forensic artist is hired to sketch people. He is told to ask a person behind a curtain questions about his features so that he can paint a portrait, so to speak. He asks questions like, "What is your most pronounced feature?" or "Tell me about your hair.. your chin, etc." 
 Then a stranger comes in and is asked the same questions but about the other person. Two pictures are produced. One picture is from a stranger's point of view of that person. The other is the person's point of view of himself.

Looks like Florence, like the rest of us, is hard on herself... Here's the picture to prove it.

 Isn't it sad that we see ourselves in such an ugly light? I know for a fact that if someone asked me to describe myself I would more than likely give out unflattering details. My nose has a bump, my chin juts out, my eyes are big and I have one front tooth that sits in front of the other tooth a bit so it appears longer at certain angles. See! I already offered up the ugly details. I will however add that most people wouldn't describe themselves in a flattering light in order to avoid sounding self centered. It would be easier for me to say that I have big eyes, rather than admit that I think my eyes are nicely shaped. But I don't think I would say it in fear of sounding vain. Why would I shy away from saying something nice about myself just to avoid sounding self centered? Perhaps we're all programmed that way, to put ourselves down..

I chose this one because Kela didn't look anything like the person she described. She was the woman at the end of the video in tears when she saw the pictures

I love the Dove campaigns. I respect the women that model for Dove because they are what I love and admire so much in people.. they are REAL. These models weren't afraid to show off their bodies to the world because it's honest, because it represented who they were at that time in their lives.

Looking very REAL ladies!!
 In the spirit of being real- I'm going to post two pictures that I HATED when I saw them the other day.. I had to stomp out the urge to erase every single picture of myself from that beach day. BUT- I didn't. So I am going to post REAL images of myself. I declare that I am all about being real, right? So I need to back up what I say and be real myself. I am all about being true to myself and for being proud of who I am, so here I go...

 But you know what.. I don't really care. I had a baby nearly six months ago and I am aware that I need to work out. I know that my body isn't perfect. I do feel like I should be able to wear a bikini at the beach because I want to tan my tummy and it is hot out. I don't look down at my tummy jiggling when I walk. I don't usually let Rob take my picture when I'm in full bikini because I'm not ready to see what I look like. But now that I do know, it's okay. It is who I am right now. And for right now, I'm pretty happy with life. This is me today.... and that's okay.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

The Quiet

 I'm feeling the blues. I can't pinpoint what it is exactly that is making me feel this way...
I think it could be a combination of things..

//1  My sister and the family left the other day. It's crazy how three years went by where I missed her so much. I can't even describe how difficult it is to live so far away from my "sneestor", someone that I adore and love with all of my heart. I sound dramatic but that is how much I love her. So as soon as I heard that she was coming to visit - finally!!!! I burst into tears and profusely thanked my mom for getting her here. I counted down the months, weeks, days and hours until she arrived.. and then she was here! But it felt like one or two days went by and we were already hugging goodbye. I am a sap when it comes to family. My family, Rob's side.. I love my people. I miss my family and am always sad to see them go. So, having the house so quiet is hard for me.. The silence in the house is the constant reminder that they aren't here anymore and that it is going to be a very, very long time until I see them all again..

//2  While the family was here- it was so nice having all of us under the same roof. Mom, Ky, Linc and I .. the original four! Our step dad passed eight years ago and our dad three years.. So when we're all together like that, which isn't often anymore- it is impossible not to think of them. They are certainly missing from our lives everyday, but more so when we're together as a family. I will admit that I wasn't thinking of them as much while everyone was together. I'm thinking of them now, more than ever. I think with everyone having come and gone, I'm feeling the family blues and with those blues the missing my dads blues as well!
 I know Dad and Rudi would have made great Papa's to their grandchildren. Dad met Quinn, but not Sophie or Alina. Rudi, sadly missed out on all three. But I know that there is a Heaven of some form and they are there watching over all of us. I know that they are hanging around here, especially when we are all together again. So as much as I didn't think about them while the family was here, I am thinking now, that they were most definitely here in spirit...

//3  We have some family out here that live nearby. They have been dealing with a family member getting seizures and a new discovery of a brain tumour. They are all anxiously waiting to hear if the tumour is cancerous. I believe this family member will be getting operated on very soon and it is a very uneasy time for everyone. I am experiences extra feelings of anxiety for all of them. I know what it feels like to have your life turned upside down with news of a tumour. As everyone probably knows by now, our story ended tragically. I am trying not to think too much about it because I'm afraid I'll get too upset if I do. I'm not so sad for myself but for this person and the family members closest to him. I can't imagine how he's feeling; fear, desperation, anger.. We were visiting them today and we could just see the sadness living in all of them. This family is normally very upbeat and happy and that was not the case today. It's just hard to see.. I feel for them so much and can only hope for good news.

 So here I am, with my husband and baby girl sitting by my side, watching the evening news. My mother in law Andrea is back for another visit. She arrived yesterday, when my brother was leaving from his holiday. I welcomed her visit with opened arms.. She always takes good care of us while she is here. I'm glad to have her because I would probably be feeling more bluesy without her here, making us suppers, keeping me company while Rob returns to work after his holidays and entertaining Miss Alina with her high energy and whacky sing songs.
 I may be feeling bluesy today but I am so grateful for our health, the love we share and family.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Wishing On A Fountain

 The other day, while my sister was visiting on holidays she shared a really cute story with me. As soon as the story passed her lips I was instantly inspired to write a new post about it.
 Quinn is four years old and he was born in Victoria, B.C. He moved to Nova Scotia when he was just over a year old. He doesn't remember my husband Rob and I or that he lived here at all. So this visit feels like the first time he's been here and the first time he's ever met us.
 Quinn was having breakfast with his parents and near the restaurant is a beautiful fish fountain that children are always drawn to. Children are drawn to all fountains and I think that is a beautiful thing in itself. Quinn stood at the fountain, closed his eyes and he made two wishes. I realize that most people do not share their wish with people openly in fear that it won't come true. But lucky for his parents and us now, he decided to take his chances..

Rob and Alina by the fountain. Wonder what she's wishing for..

His first wish: " I wish that I could stay here forever.."
I mean, seriously. How sweet of him to want to stay here with his Auntie and Uncle that he "just met". His Baba also lives here and she does deserve a lot of credit for that statement. My mom is so in love with her grandchildren and it's really heart warming for me to watch.

His second wish: "I wish I was a talking fish."

 Okay, now that is more like it! Children crack me up. He is a total sweetheart for making his first wish about staying with his newly discovered family. But let's be honest, I bet he would rather be a talking fish!

 I love the innocence and honesty that children convey on a daily basis. They have zero filter and just say exactly what they're thinking, or feeling. There isn't any second guessing or wondering when it comes to children.. They just basically tell you what is what. 

Quinnster in all of his innocence.

 I always wonder at what point in life, does a child go from speaking his thoughts and feelings to hiding the truth and having guilt for hurting feelings? Is it more like a gradual change, or something that happens that changes a child overnight? It's hard to say- but I don't think it really matters. It goes away. Why can't people hold onto those true, childlike feelings? Why do we have to grow up and forget what it's like to wish for impossible things?

 If there was a magic fountain, or any fountain- what would I wish for? I can't wish for money to pay off bills or my house. I have to wish for something impossible.. Something that comes straight from the heart.. innocence, honesty and all.....

My wish: I wish that people became airplanes. We would have to take lessons as children and get our flying license, of course. There would be order and traffic laws like on the roads.. But wouldn't that be amazing to be able to get up and go fly to wherever we ever dreamed!? Or simply, to just visit family or friends that lived too far!? Yup, that is my ultimate kid wish: to become an airplane.

So take a minute and think, really think .. what would you wish for if you could have any impossible child like wish?

Monday, August 19, 2013

A Little Recap

I have been so busy! My family arrived on Thursday early, early morning and I haven't had a chance away until this very moment! I opted out of going to the beach with the family (it's not a very nice day out) so that I could have a minute to myself to write.
 It's funny that my sister has been away for three years and she's at the beach but I would rather sit in my living room, like I usually do- to write in my blog. Weird! But our house is very little and when more than three people are living in it, it gets even smaller. So a little alone time is needed, for my sanity. I'm really enjoying my time with my family- but I also need a little bit of quiet.
 I think for today's post I will choose my top 13 picture moments to recap the last few days.

//1  I finally got to meet and hold my niece Sophie for the first time!! She played shy for a little bit, but got comfortable with me enough, so I could hold her. I love this kid. My sister describes her as "spicy" and she's got that right! Sophie likes to play hard, touch people's hair and she says "Deesh" for everything.


//3 Quinn, my nephew can't get enough of his cousin Alina. As soon as he met her at the airport he immediately wanted to hold her in his arms. He is really good at being gentle with her and gives her plenty of kisses and cheek squishes so last her another three years!


//5 My sister is back!! It is honestly so nice to be able to see her everyday. As soon as she arrived in Vancouver, the day before I saw her, I instantly felt closer to her based on the fact that she was in my time zone again. It is so tough living on opposite coasts but the time zone really ruins any chances of phone chats. I miss my sister and am so happy that we are together again.


//7  It is so nice seeing our kids interact. Sophie is younger and doesn't always understand that she plays a bit rough. But she is being really good with Alina considering. She loves to pet her head and she is always showing us where Alina's eyes are by pointing and sometimes her little finger might graze A's eyeball. BUT- she's working on it. She's good at handing Alina her pacifier and her blankie. She wants to play with all of A's toys, even if she's too big for them. The kids are really fun to watch and I'm just enjoying their time together, as cousins.


//11  The gang is all back together! My brother Lincoln arrived on Saturday and Rob's sister Erin and her boyfriend Jay joined us on Saturday night for a little reunion. We played music, introduced Jay and Erin to the boot of beer that we used to drink out of many, many times in our past. It was so much fun letting loose that night. Loved every minute of it.


 Again, I can't describe how nice it is to be around my family. I love having my brother, sister and I under the same roof again. It just feels right! I'm going to get off this computer and jump in my Jeep and join them all at the beach now. The weather took a turn for the better!!

Friday, August 16, 2013

To Be 16

 I know a couple of young ladies that are turning sixteen today. It inspired me to think back to when I was sixteen..

 I remember thinking that I was so grown up and really, I wasn't even close. Like a lot of teenagers, I lived with the deception that I knew it all. I was a good teenager, but I did have a serious attitude problem. I think that was because I was the youngest in my family and I thought that I could get away with it. Sadly, I did get away with it too. My sister struggled with me a lot when I was sixteen because my curfew was way later than hers ever was. I had a serious boyfriend at the time and I pulled some pretty dumb moves. For example, we would be out at a party and I would lie to my parents and say that I didn't have a ride home, and that I had no other choice but to crash at my boyfriend's house overnight. I still remember when his mom came downstairs and saw me sleeping in the basement on the floor with him, she nearly clawed her son's eyes out. She was mad and now, I don't blame her. If Alina tried to pull that crap I don't think we would be as understanding as my parents. Looking back now, I don't know who I thought I was..!! I understand why Kyli would get so mad at me and mom!

 I remember on my sixteenth birthday, Kyli bought me a Pokemon cake. She chose a Pokemon theme as a joke, to embarrass me, but in a funny sort of way. When Kyli turned sixteen my folks bought her a four pack of coolers. It was their way of introducing us to alcohol because they knew that we were going to be going to parties and drinking anyway. So when my brother, Lincoln turned sixteen he got a six pack of beer.. and on my sixteenth birthday Lincoln presented me with my first four pack of coolers. It's funny, now that I'm a parent I'm not sure that I would introduce alcohol to my children at the ripe age of sixteen. But I do understand what they were doing. They were giving us the responsibility to take care of ourselves when we went out. They wanted us to know that they knew what we were doing when we went out and that it was okay, as long as we were being responsible. Now, having said that.. unfortunately there were many, many,many times that I was just the opposite of that. But I can also admit because my parents were okay with me going out, I didn't feel the need to go crazy..

A polaroid I found of Kyli and I when I was 16..

 This is a wee bit off topic but Rob grew up with a girl and her parents were really strict. She was not allowed out for very long. They didn't trust her and would check up on her to make sure she was always where she said she was going to be. She ended up rebelling against her parents as soon as she had the chance. She drank a lot and partied too much and to this day, nearing thirty years old she continues to make really poor decisions. So I can confidently say that sheltering your kids isn't always the best approach either. I think it's all about a healthy balance.

 My birthday is in the summer time, so I always started a new year of school, a fresh, new age. When I was five, I went into kindergarden and cried every day for a week. So my mom and the kindergarden teacher decided together that I wasn't ready. I ended up staying home another year because of it. So I was always a year older than all of my friends. When I turned sixteen, I was going into grade ten. In grade nine I started hanging out with a 'cooler', more popular crowd of girls. I had a lot of fun with these girls and a lot of them are still my friends today. But I believe that if I hadn't met them I would probably have an education. I would have studied harder and my priorities would have been focused on my studies and not my social life. I don't blame my friends for anything. I love my girlfriends. But I have to admit that I was good in school until I met them and started going out and partying with them. I started dating a guy that was two years older than me. Meeting him really turned me into a monster for awhile. We were just young and "in love" and my attitude sucked towards my parents after meeting him. That was most certainly mistake #2.. I wasted a lot of my teen life on that boy. Fighting, crying and worrying... I truly understand why parents do not want us dating at a young age. WE CAN'T HANDLE IT! That's it. We are not equipped to properly handle the feelings we are feeling.. I was unable to make good decisions for the relationship because my priorities were so screwed up. Plus, we were always at parties on the weekends getting drunk.

In Grade 12 I made a picture story book of every year of my life.. This is a page from Year 16..

  As an adult, I know that when I drink too much I get pretty difficult. I get argumentative and unreasonable. In the beginning of our relationship Rob and I used to get into arguments when we both drank heavily and we came to the conclusion to just not drink as often. It's not good for the relationship.. Period.

 So when I was a teenager, I didn't care about reason. I wanted to have fun, because I was young and someone was having a keg party in honour of someone's birthday! So I would drink and then my boyfriend would drink and then that was always a remedy for disaster. We would fight.. I remember throwing a full drink at my boyfriend's face. I mean, I would NEVER do something like that now!! Never ever.

 Knowing what I know now.. I wish I could go back in time and give my sixteen year old self some sound advice..

 Haley's Helpful Hints To Turning 16:

//1  Try not to think that you know more than your parents.. because you simply don't. They've been around the block a few more times than you. Try to understand why they are hard on you at this age. It really is for your own good.

//2  Don't get involved in any serious relationships. Being a teenager is about enjoying friendships and learning about who you are. Growing up is hard enough without a guy getting in the way and complicating everything!!

//3  Don't take yourself too seriously. Do remember to have some fun because this is the time for a bit of irresponsibility.. It's the time for making a few mistakes because you are young!!

 //4  Expect it to be hard. Going from a girl to a woman isn't easy. There is so much to learn, so much to feel.. Your hormones are buzzing around like crazy. You are up, you are down. Just enjoy the bumpy ride for what it is.. Take it all in and learn from all of the ups and downs you experience. 

//5  Enjoy it. It goes by so, so fast. Enjoy sleeping in and eating your mom's cooking. If you have a job, enjoy your money. Money that is for you and only you to spend on .. YOU!

16 Year Old Me.


Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Tag- You're It!

 Amanda tagged me in her post today! So basically I answer six questions and the blog world will learn a wee bit more about me..! 

Yes, this is a picture of me as a hotdog with cartoon hands. That is all.

Six Things You Should Know About Me  

1. What's something that you love about yourself?

  I take pride in my honesty. I have a really hard time telling a lie. I hate it when I'm put in a situation where I have to go along with a lie because I am SO bad at it. Anyone, even people that don't know me very well know when I'm lying. My face turns red with embarrassment for some reason and I stumble on my words as well. It's pretty entertaining, actually. 
 Rob and I have such a solid relationship and marriage because of our honesty and communication. I also want to be clear, that I'm not mean about my honesty. I really dislike it when something hurtful is said and the person saying it simply says, "I was just being honest..." That's not nice and I don't do that. Since I'm on a roll about what I love about myself, I will also add that with honesty I am nice. I know that being nice can be a bad thing. But I am a firm believer in making people feel comfortable in uncomfortable situations. I don't see why people can't be friendly.. It's not that hard and it really goes a long way!

2. What is one thing in life that you're struggling to overcome?

 I struggle with my mom. I love her very much. But, she has had a back disability since I was thirteen or fourteen. Ever since then, it has always been about her. She has had a bumpy ride but so have I. I feel like I have to take care of her and I feel like I have been for many years. At this point in my life, I have other priorities and I am finished with taking care of someone that is more than capable of taking care of herself. I am hesitant to even write about her on here, because of the slim chance that she'll read this or someone she'll know will. I have guilt. I feel guilty for how I feel. I don't want to hurt her, but it doesn't take much to hurt her feelings. She's emotional and frail. But at the same time, she's a verbal bully and she can be very mean spirited. She has turned sour and negative in the last couple of years and it's really been frustrating. I love my mom, but I can't take the negativity anymore. So I'm having a really hard time, trying to let all of that go... I've always been there for her. But, enough is enough. 
 3. You get to meet any blogger in person- who would it be and why?

I would love to meet Amanda in person because I feel like we have quite a few things in common. She cooks incredible dishes that I always drool over and I have been trying to replicate them. So far, the food has been really amazing. I also like that she has an inner child inside and she's not afraid to let her out. She looks like a lot of fun and I think getting to know someone that is fun is always a bonus. Plus, it would be really neat to meet her on her turf because then she could give me a personal tour of all of the beauty that she gets to see daily in the UK. 

Amanda, having fun.
  I would also love to meet Jade because she is a free spirit that loves living and meeting new people. I think she would inspire me to want to explore the world more and she would bring out the free spirit in me! She also looks like a lot of fun and I would really enjoy spending time exploring her turf in South Africa. (I know that wasn't part of the question.. but why not go to the international bloggers and get a trip out of it?! It's my fantasy right!?)

4. What's something you've never mentioned on your blog, but feel like your readers should know?..

I'm reluctant to share.. But I'm married to a cannibal. There, I said it.

I mean, I do that every time he eats a hotdog.. You would think he would stop.......

 5.  You get a chance to go back to university (or start again), would you change what you studied? Why?

Well, this one is a no brainer. I didn't go to school. I want to blame my circumstances on not going.. My step dad passed away when I was nineteen and then I ended up moving out to the island with my mom. Then, I met Rob.. and again, the rest is history. But I didn't have any solid plans to go to school after I graduated anyway. I regret that a little. I wouldn't have met my hubby if I was in school and who knows how different my life would be today, if I did. But if I could start over.. and go to school, I would definitely! I told Rob that I would love to study psychology. I always enjoy listening to people's problems and then giving advice afterwards. I mean, yes I realize that there is much,much more to psychology than that. But it has always fascinated me. But, if I couldn't do that I would like to take care of kids.. I would either become a teacher of elementary school students or else be a daycare teacher. I love kids and I think it would be a very fulfilling job that I would enjoy. OR- if we're talking BIG DREAMS- I would just finally sit down and write that "best selling" book I have always dreamed about writing....! 

My book- I won a contest and was published. But now I want MORE! 

Pregnant me with my book.

 (That could actually be my serious answer to #4. I wrote a story and I was the winner of the contest I entered. My story was published, along with ten others. My story was the title of the book..!!) 

6. What motivates and inspires you in life?

 As of lately; my little girl inspires me in life. I feel like she is going to look up to me when she's a bit older and I will have to be the best that I can be. The best I've ever been, so that she grows up to be her best. I am motivated by my husband Rob. He is always thriving to do more in life. I feel like if he climbed the top of a mountain, he would be at the top, take a few pictures and be ready to get down and climb another, bigger one. He is just always pushing me to do more. He challenges me to want more... Without him behind me, encouraging me - I'm not sure if I would have accomplished all that I have. I absolutely adore him and Alina. So how fitting for my biggest inspiration and motivator to be the two loves of my life!

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 So, thanks Amanda for tagging me in your post today. I was happy to play along and answer some questions. Now Blogland knows me that much more!

Monday, August 12, 2013

The Golden Days to Come

2 DAYS!!

 My sister Kyli and her fam-dam-ilee is going to be here on the island in... two days!!!! I can't even begin to express the feelings I have. I am beyond excited for sooo many reasons. But for FUN- I think I will list them...

//1   Kyli and I have always been close, ever since I can remember. Of course there was a time during her pre-teens going into her teen years where she didn't want too much to do with me. We always shared a bedroom and her privacy didn't really exist and during those times in her adolescence she really should have had more of it. I understand why she would be a bit snappy towards me then. But those times didn't last forever. She was always there for me, as a baby and a little girl. When I was a teenager, Kyli was there to listen to my complaints and insecurities. She was a good big sister. Kyli moved out of the house when I was eighteen or nineteen. Her and Joe moved to the island to live in beautiful Victoria. Our bond was big then and when she left I was pretty crushed. I ended up moving only hours away a couple of years later and again, we were reunited. Those were our "golden years." Rob was introduced to Ky and Joe and .. the rest is history. Instant best friends; all of us. They moved again three years ago, to Nova Scotia. That was a big blow for Rob and I.  But, things happen for a reason and three years later- we get ten amazing days to spend with our best friends.

She always played with my hair.

Ky proudly gave me a make-over..!
Right after she gave birth to her first child, my first nephew and the first grand-baby.

The one time we got a picture of all of us, after all of those years..!
//2   Like I mentioned earlier- Kyli gave birth to our very first baby- first grandson and nephew to our family! Quinn was born May 29, 2009 in Victoria to two very proud parents and to a very excited auntie and uncle. We were thrilled when Quinn entered our lives. We spent even more time with the Stewarts when he was born. We couldn't keep away from the little guy. He filled our weekends with so much purpose and joy. We saw him sit up and crawl and eventually walk. Every visit was so exciting because we got to see our little buddy again. He was the ring bearer at our wedding and we missed him so much when he first moved away.

The day we met Mr. Quinn..

The last week with Quinn before the big move..

Getting as many hugs as we could!
That's the not-so-little guy these days. SIGH- they grow so fast!

 //3   The Stewart's moved in July, 2010. Miss Sophie was born on March 21, 2012... I was the first person Kyli phoned after she gave birth. It was a very emotional time for all of us. We were there for Quinn's birth and not being there for Sophie's was really hard on us. Ky gave Sophie my middle name and I have never been so proud in all of my life. I was touched that she took my name for her daughter's.. So even though Sophie and I haven't met, we already have that to share. I was obsessed with Ky and Joe's facebook pages waiting for new pictures of Sophie to surface..!! I saved every picture ever texted to me of her and I also saved a lot from facebook. I feel like I know Sophie even though we haven't met yet.. I loved her as soon as I knew she existed and I seriously CAN'T WAIT until Wednesday evening when I finally, finally get to hold her in my arms!!

Early on in Sophie's life- my fav. picture..

This is Miss Sophie now.. the most recent picture I've seen.

//4   Alina Bo Bina Banana Fana Fo Fina!! Of course you didn't think I'd leave Little Miss A. out of a list of anything on my blog now did you!? I am stupidly excited for Kyli, Joe, Quinn and Sophie to all meet our baby girl! Again, it was sad not having Kyli there when I gave birth to Alina. But at the same time, I think it was more difficult for Ky. It was the first time she experienced becoming an auntie and she didn't get to be there for the big day, the big unveiling of who Peanut was!! (*Peanut was what we called Alina when she was still a mystery in my tummy.*) It was hard on Ky not being able to see my pregnant and not being able to rub my stomach.. So in two days- my sister finally gets to snuggle my little baby girl for the first time ever!! Our buds that saw how much we adored their little guy get to see us as parents for the first time too..!

The first pregnancy photo I took on my phone..

The last pregnancy photo I took on my phone..

The first picture on my cell of Alina..

I took this picture of Alina this morning..

//5   Finally, I anticipate and so look forward to all of the kids meeting each other! We've been waiting for what seems like forever, for these kids to all be together, as cousins for the first time. I love watching little ones interact with each other. I think it will be a special time for Kyli and I, to watch our little ones play like we did, so many years ago..!

The kids in a cart...
Alina in a cart... SOON- they'll all be shopping with their mommy's together!

 After having written out my list of reasons why I'm so pumped to see my sissy and her family again, I am even more excited!!
  While the Stewarts are here, Rob is going to take his holidays so that we can join in on anything that they get up to while they're here. I will try to keep up with blog posts, but I may be quite busy trying to re-live our golden years into golden days!