Monday, January 08, 2007

The Wedge

It is funny how one day can change so much.

Yesterday Rob and I went to mom's to take down Christmas for her. There has been some mention of her having a friend in her life lately, but nothing serious. Apparently it is a bit more than what I thought. He has come for a couple of visits at her house and one visit to Nanaimo to pick something up at the Canadian Tire.

It is true that I was very open to all of this in the beginning. I think it is good for her to have found a companion, although she has been told not to get into any relationships until she has hit her one year of sobriety. But I know she has a good head on her shoulders and knows not to get too serious this soon.

I somehow figured out that I knew this friend of hers. He happened to be a regular at my coffee shop. I was delighted trying to figure out by his name who he might be. At first I thought of a sweet man that comes in early in the mornings and is always polite, calling me by my name. But as soon as she said "painter" my heart didn't even sink, it started beating violently in my chest. I couldn't sit anymore, I needed to get out of her observing eyes. I started pacing out of my own control in and out of the kitchen. The Painters! There is an older man that comes in with his son and they are known for hitting on anything with a pair of tits. His son isn't bad but it is him that makes everyone uncomfortable with his inappropriate comments. I couldn't believe it was HIM. It was confirmed and my mind has been made up.

I am not a close minded person. If anyone was to know this information ahead of time it would be me. I just can't say that I am not completely disappointed with the end result. I was hoping to meet this new guy that peeks mom's interest and instead I have already met him in a number of occasions. I have brought him his breakfast and served his coffee, watching him tip with inappropriate comments and his lingering eyes on anything that moves. Urrrggh. It makes me shudder thinking that this is her new friend.

I researched it a little by asking one of the ladies I work with what she thought of the "painter guy". First thing she says, no hesitation, he's a bit creepy. Then she goes on to tell me her inappropriate story of him. Of course being as it was a recent encounter, I tell mom.

She phones to tell me that he feels really badly and is apologizing to this lady at work. Big deal. I don't care about her. I care about my mother and her feelings. She shouldn't be getting involved with a man with a wondering eye and perverted comments. I know that I am going way off at this point. But I can't help but not care.

Every time she mentions his name I shudder. I don't like it. I hate this feeling. This better not be the beginning of something horrible. I have seen these kinds of problems on Oprah or Dr. Phil. "My step daughter is keeping my wife and I apart. "

I already feel like she's taken his side over mine and that he is the wedge between my mom and I . I haven't phoned her back because I don't know what to say. That has never happened and I have him to blame for that, and I hate that too. At this rate I'll never like him.

He has zero room for error now and as far as I am concerned he better be thinking up some classy, GENUINE way to woo me like he has mom.


Anonymous said...

Oh Haley! That makes my stomach hurt. I hope it all works out for the best.

holli said...

Oh Haley. I just don't think your mom is thinking clear. She can't be. But I don't know that you can change her mind, unless you can bring her to where you work and set her in the back or something - where she can see. I'm completely upset. I feel like I've come to know your family. I know your mom is probably really needing something right now and she just can't place her finger on it - but it isn't him. He's the kind of person who can sniff a fragile person out and take advantage of them.

I hope not - I just have a bad feeling. Do you want to email me? Do you have any ideas? I know I did not give you any reassurance. I'm sorry. I would be so upset. too.