A Me Moment

A girl's closet can be her very best friend. I think that means girls like to shop and love their clothes. But to me, my closet has become a sanctuary. No joke. When my in laws were in town, I found myself suddenly in my closet just taking a moment for me. I think once you become a mom, it gets difficult to take time for yourself. Like truly take time. I can sit here while Alina is napping and write a blog post or two. But wouldn't it just be so sublime if we could just say all of Saturday is for me? This would never happen and not because it can't but because we carry this crazy thing called "Mommy Guilt." Oh Mommy Guilt is a real bitch. It's a mom's worst enemy because no one can control it but you. There's no escaping it. It's just there. Lingering in the back of my mind, waiting for that moment of doubt.. The moment to whisper; Reading a book are you? Shouldn't you be folding Alina's laundry that's been sitting in the basket for days? There will always be something more useful to do... it's whether we can overcome that feeling of guilt and do something a little selfish, a little more enjoyable instead.

 My closet is that one place where I can truly escape from it all.  It could be one, brief moment where I just need peace. Inside that closet I find calm. There's a mirror that I can look at myself in with a knowing smirk and shoulder shrug that says; I get you.

 Alina could be following me down the hallway and I'll just disappear for a moment in that little room of quiet. I'll hear her little footsteps smack against the floor in the opposite direction. Sigh. A Me Moment.

 I even considered doing my schooling in the closet. I told Rob that if everything is just too noisy and I need some peace and quite to study, I'll just escape to the closet. I can tell that he thought that that was a bit odd. Is it? I don't think so. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I always had a small space for my bedroom. No, I wasn't a Harry Potter living in the cupboard under the stairs. But I had a little space for a bedroom and I bet I find peace in little rooms because they remind me of times when I was almost completely worry-free as a kid.

 There's no point in analyzing it any further. It's a quirk. I like my walk in closet because it gives me that Me Moment I am always searching for...

(**Side note: I took some pictures of my closet after I wrote this post. Then I liked it so much in here, I decided to edit and post my pictures in the closet. I received a phone call from my husband who is working on something outside. He asked if I wouldn't mind making him a sandwich... Even in the closet I can't escape the demands of being me...!**)