Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Pointless Scratches..

This is it..this is real.. We are officially moving. Well we were officially moving a month ago once my mom bought our home in Coombs. But in my mind, I have accepted it. We are out of here! My mom and I had been fighting there for awhile and she threatened to go without me. That freaked me out so badly. The idea of being left behind has always frightened me. But what bothered me was that I could be stuck living here in Hinton, after telling everyone that I was a goner. I would much rather argue with my mother in Coombs where it is beautiful and very conveniently situated by the ocean, rather than living in Hinton hating my life.

Mom just got back with a bundle of boxes for us to start packing. Only three weeks to go and we will be up and moving to another province. I am slowly starting to get excited because a new start is always something to look forward to. At least I get to begin my life with Paul somewhere besides here. Even though we're going to be living with my mom until we get ourselves grounded, I finally feel grown up and ready to start out on my own.

We may have to leave the house still up for sale. Mom gets too worked up having to tidy the house every day, with Paul and I at work. She gets too stressed out about it and she's going to end up falling down the stairs and hurting her back or worse. So I was hoping that we could sell the house privately but now it's all up to the realtor. I personally hope that it sells sooner than later, because I don't like the idea of leaving the house empty for months on end. Especially in the cool winter.

I am trying to think of ways in which I can get a head start on packing. I'm just not really sure what I won't miss having around for ... a month or so.

I am really looking forward to all of this being over. The moment we can all sit in our living room on Bowlby Drive will be a great reward. I seriously hope that unpacking will be eventful and not depressing and discouraging because of the small room we are going to be inhabiting. I am full of mixed emotions mainly because I only remember moving once in my life. It's the fear of the future, of what is to come. What do I expect? The fear of the unknown..

I have so many questions but I don't think it wise to stress over them now. There are too many other things to think about. This blog kind of sucks because my thoughts are all mixed up and it isn't very insightful or funny. But hell, what's a blog for if you can't talk about my feelings?