Run It Off

I just got home from the gym and I couldn't feel any better than I do now. I remember September 07th, I wrote a post saying that I wanted to start working out my body. It was just an idea that I truly didn't think was going to stick. Like my journal, it has stuck. I was eleven years old on December 31st, 1996 and I vowed to my best friend Morgan, that I was going to write in my brand new note book I bought, every day until ... forever. Of course, a lot of kids say that. But here I am ten years later still writing in my notebook every day. So hopefully in ten years I can look back at this moment and realize that I did it.

I really want to be fit because it makes me feel great. People do drugs to get this incredible high and I exercise. It's tough to describe this amazing feeling, but all I know is that when I finish my run on the tread mill and I am really excited to work on my arms, or back, etc. I think the weights really are my favourite part. I remember being a little girl, sitting in Rudi's arms. I promised that the minute I could get into the gym with him I would. At five I promised and at twenty one I am keeping that promise. Even if he's no longer with us, he will always remain strong in my heart and especially when I am working out. I can just see him smiling.

I took some pictures of myself posing, haha. I felt kind of stupid doing it, but then I decided that I wanted to take these pictures to keep track of how my body is doing. In another month I'll take the same pictures and compare to see how much I've improved, or haven't. I still have Rudi's pictures of him at competitions. He's a monster! I think of him a lot these days. What would have been his 57th birthday is on Wednesday. This is two years since he was sick. This month is a difficult one, but instead of being negative and feeling sad and sorry for myself I am going to work harder.

Aunty Bobbi and I are signed up for a 5k run in the Qualicum Woods on Sunday. It's for cancer and that was the key word to help me agree to it. My real Dad Bernard has cancer and is still getting treatment for it and my Ruder had it and it ended his life. So I will run for him and for my dad. I will run against their struggle and fight with it. I won't stop .. I'll just keep thinking of him..