Friday, April 20, 2018

The gOLDen Years

 I am going to be 33 in July. It's not a big deal. I'm not freaking out about it or anything. I'm still in my early 30's. I'm the youngest of three and the other two are nearing their 40's. I feel alright. But it doesn't take away from the fact that sometimes I just feel... old. Outdated. Irrelevant. Uncool. Old.
 I know, a lot of people are older than me and I know that saying I feel old at 32 is grounds for a collective eye roll. But- it doesn't change the fact that I feel it sometimes.
 It starts slow. I make a mental note of something and then later on I make another mental note until all of a sudden I have serious proof that I am in fact getting old!

Original Photo Via

 1. I can't sit with my legs crossed for very long or I can't sit on a hard floor without getting up and making a bunch of grunting, groaning sounds. I used to be able to sit 'criss cross apple sauce' (that's what Alina calls it) for hours and just jump up after like no big deal. I was so limber and flexible.. Now, not so much the case......

2. I find myself complaining about the artists on Saturday Night Live. The other night I was all critical saying that the band playing better get their act together because they sucked. Rob looked at me in disgust and said it was "Arcade On Fire." Which most people know is a pretty successful, well known band. (Insert smack to old lady forehead here.) Or I will be watching the Grammy's and exclaim that bands now a days aren't talented. They just dress up all ridiculous, with their boobs and asses out and sing along to some pre-recorded nonsense.

** Side Note: I left my mistake in because it just proves how 'not cool' I am. The band isn't Arcade ON Fire. It's Arcade Fire. (Insert another smack to old lady forehead here....) **

3.  I have mentioned in numerous blogs that I live in a retirement community. (Which makes this post all the more hilarious.) I am surrounded by many, many senior citizens. The town I live in could be compared to Pleasantville it is so pleasant and beautiful and not full of any sort of vandalism or
thug-ery. (I made that word up because I'm an old lady and we do what we want.. ) So when I go to our neighbouring town it's like I'm going to NYC for the first time at night, alone. I went to get Rob his coffee from this grocery store around 8:00 pm. I got into my car and locked the doors immediately because I am a paranoid ninny. (Or Nanny- since I'm a grandma now. Get it!?) Rob was trying to Facetime me but we were getting disconnected. I was leaving the store and walking to the car. My 'street smarts' kicked in and I was looking all around me in case I was 'jumped'. I actually thought to myself, I have a brand new cell phone, the criminals around here would definitely attack me for it. So I made sure to stay alert, lock the door once I got into the car and then focus my attention on my phone. Ridiculous!

4.  I think I'm over this now, but it took some time for me to be.. The movie "13 Going On 30" is a good example of my mind set. The 13 year old girl inside her 30 year old body acts 13, is attracted to boys instead of men because she is still 13 in her mind. Now I'm not attracted to teenagers. But I remember it took me awhile to not care what teenagers thought of me. I would pass a group of teens and wonder if I was considered 'cool' still. Or if I was thought of as older, but possibly a good looking older chick? How ridiculous- I know! But it's that young mentality that is difficult to shake. I remember feeling that way constantly when I was in my teens or early twenties. Now, I don't feel that way so much. But like I said, it took me awhile to shake that paranoid feeling or curiosity.

5.  The first time I saw pictures of kids I used to babysit on Facebook with their own Facebook Accounts. This one certainly made me feel incredibly old. Our neighbours in Hinton had three kids. I used to babysit the older two. The girl was a baby when I watched her. I remember the one thing that made her so happy was swinging in her swing. So when I saw her graduation/prom photos on Facebook I couldn't believe my eyes! Graduated? I remember traits about her when she was a baby!!! Old. Old. Old.

6.  Technology is getting away from me. I am okay with social media. I have my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram accounts that are fairly active. I feel like I get those okay. But it's music. If it wasn't for Rob subscribing to Spotify I would have no way of finding and listening to music on any sort of media. I have no idea how to have music now. We used to burn cd's or buy cd's. Obviously I don't do that anymore. ( I wouldn't even know how to burn a cd today.) This world is progressing so quickly I'm really beginning to feel outdated and left behind...

7.  I have this strange desire to tease or embarrass Alina. It's such a parent thing! She gets all giddy and silly about a boy at daycare. She kind of likes him. So she told me casually that she held his hand on their walk. I could have been mature and left it at that. But no, I was all like.. "Here that Daddy? Alina held Ethan's hand on her walk today.. Ooooooooh." Which makes her blush and jokingly scold me. So there it is. I can't help be uncool because I'm a parent. Being someone's parent automatically makes you OLD and immediately 'less cool'...

8.  I remember when a pack of cigarettes cost $5.00. Enough said.

**Side note: The fact that I uttered/typed those words makes me old. "I remember when ____ cost..."**

9.  We have younger friends and older friends. We are acquaintances and friends with a young lady that is 19. We're also friends with people that could be our parents. Now that we're older it doesn't matter how old people are. In high school hanging out with people two or three years older was a huge deal. I remember my brother was in grade 12 when I entered high school. Just being related to him instantly gave me credit. I knew and had connections with someone older and cool. Was I allowed to hang out with him and his friends? Not really. But now, it wouldn't even matter if I did or didn't. What makes me feel old is when I find out a friend is a lot younger than me. It happened the other night. I was like, "I know you're young. But what year were you born?" 1992..! I was in school already crushing on my first crush.

10.  Wrinkles! I don't mind wrinkles one bit. I think they give a person personality. I remember referring to my dad Rudi's wrinkles as his 'smile lines' or 'laugh lines'. I have noticed in the last little while that I have them! I have 'smile lines' but I totally accept them. Still makes me feel old though...

 There it is folks! I feel an immense amount of pressure has been lifted off of my shoulders. (Which is a good thing because my shoulders can't handle that much weight.. I am 32 after all!)  I feel like having dug up all of the reasons (and I'm sure there are plenty more) that I feel old has given me some unspoken permission to go on and on about feeling old whenever I like, or something like that...

Does anyone else out there agree with me? Do you feel old and what makes YOU feel like an old Grannie OR Gr-pa!?

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