Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Key

This is Rob before I met him. But I just love
this picture of him.

This morning I don't have to work until 10:30. I am happy about getting the extra morning time in. But I think my boss is yankin' me around getting me to do closing shifts when I used to always, always open. Oh well, we'll see how that pans out later.

I actually find it refreshing to write before I go to work. I find that in the mornings, or prior to work I am always really appreciative of my extra time and of course Robert. I always think about how much I would miss him if he was always away. When I am at work I am not really missing him as much because I am busy and he's not usually there. But when I am at home and he's at work I really think about him a lot. Especially when I wake up and reach over and feel an empty space my heart just sinks. It really does and I realize that this is almost sappy but it's the truth. I am so sucky in the mornings. All I want to do is cuddle or just latch onto the side of his arm or have him put his arms around me. It is the warmest, SAFEST place I have ever been. I swear terrible things could be happening outside and all around us and I'd still feel right where I need to be in Rob's arms.

I just think about what it would be like without him and it upsets my stomach. I take him for granted when he's playing his electric guitar with the amp turned right up while I'm watching t.v. Haha. I take him for granted when he's singing like Led Zepplin to comercial tunes or this is the best... his own made up tunes. I do take him for granted but only because he is right there. When we are apart I certainly do not take him for granted by any means. And I think that is the key right there.. Some people do not appreciate their partners when they're not even there. To me this is outrageous because I can't imagine doing so. When Rob went back to T.Bay for Christmas I missed that bugger so much. I still remember having to drive home after dropping him off and not being able to see the road through my tears. I was scared to drive in an unfamiliar place and I was so sad having him gone for ... two minutes.

Last night I declared to him out of the blue.. "we're going to do everything together.." Holidays, weddings, day in and day out... it's going to be the two of us from now on. We'll buy our first home, have babies... have neices and nephews.. together. I know I sound lame but I am just realizing that this really is it. That I will not have to look any further because this is my life. I am really and honestly so excited about it too. I know I can't rush into anything. But I really like where we are right now. Our financial situation is okay. We aren't horridly broke or starving. We aren't rollin' in the cash either. But we're making it. I've never felt so useful in a household in my entire life.

I am happy. I was worried for a bit that I wasn't as happy as I had hoped to be. But I just sat back with those thoughts. I let life take me by the hand and show me that ... this really is an amazing man that I am with. That he loves me unconditionally and will never hurt me. I saw what my life will be like with him and I really like it. I am in love with my life.

I think that people search for years for what I have right now. I am very blessed to have it so soon. Though I know that it will take lots of work, patience and understanding to make anything really successful. And I plan on doing all of those things and some. A good friend told me that the best life is one with a good man, some happy babies... A home to go to.. She is right and I see that now.

I couldn't be happier...................

.....welllllll if maybe Edmonton made it right this Stanley Cup Finals.. then I'd be the happiest!


holli said...

This post made me so happy, Haley!!! I feel like I've been along for the ride - read the story and seen it unfold.. and it just keeps on getting better.

I could go on and on but I'll just say that your post really made me smile.


Mama said...

Hi Girly!!! It makes me smile to read your post! I am so happy that your life is so good!

And the pics are incredible: the trees, caves, beaches etcetc we really have to come waaaaay up there some day! ANd maybe then you could be our tour guide?

I'll try to email u soon...BIGHUGS!~mama

acumamakiki said...

I'm glad you're so happy Haley, it shows in your writing and of course, in your photos. It's good that you've been able to reflect on the good and find where your feelings are....I'm happy for you! (=