Friday, October 31, 2014

Fears & Nightmares

 In the true spirit of Halloween, I figured I should write something related to fears and nightmares. I always enjoy thinking back to when I was younger and what I found terrifying opposed to what I am afraid of today.

 Reoccurring nightmares of the past-
I was always afraid of being abandoned. I constantly had nightmares where I was with my parents and siblings one minute and the next I'm looking from far away at them leaving without me. Gasp.

Reoccurring nightmare of the present-
To be honest, I haven't had a lot of reoccurring nightmares. But the ones I have had on numerous occasions but not lately are my catmares. That's right, my totally irrational 'fear' of cats.
I can be around cats but I would just prefer not to be. I don't trust them... My catmares start out with things being normal and then I see a cat. Out of nowhere my dream goes from being totally fine to me being attacked by one and  no matter what I do, I can't escape it.

Quick review; my dreams from the past are more adult than my irrational fear of cat dreams... Interesting.

True fear of the past-
 Besides being left behind, I had fears of the dark like most kids. I was afraid of our basement in our house because it gave me the creeps. One fear I had when I was much younger was getting into trouble. When I was probably six I had this puppet I made and I threw it onto the bird cage with our budgie bird Buddy inside. Well Buddy lost his nut and freaked out. It scared me and I thought if my parents found out, I would get into so much trouble!!! Of course my older sister totally capitalized on this and used it against me for years! I still remember her empty threat; "If you keep doing that Haley I'll tell mom and Rudi that you threw your puppet on Buddy's cage!" It worked like a  hot damn until I finally got wise and told her to do it...

True fears of the present-
Not passing my courses and exams. I am so afraid of failure. I just, don't think I would take it very well. I would feel like I wasted our money, my time and I would feel like a big, old, dumb loser. So yes, that's a big current fear. As for general fears- I don't like spiders or any bugs. I will avoid going through a box left in storage if I have any indication that there might be a spider or two inside. I am also totally afraid of REAL ghosts. Yeah, I know... some people would argue that they aren't real. But, I have had some experiences, pretty small but still... I am totally fascinated with true stories of real paranormal activity but if there was a ghost hiding in this new house, I don't think I would handle it so well.

 I am super sad to report, that I have no plans to dress up for Halloween today. I.. can't believe it. I have always done something but now that we have a little one, she takes precedent over me finding a fun and witty costume for work. But, we did find a moment last weekend to carve pumpkins.

Susannah from Simple Moments Stick featured a bunch of bloggers for her Halloween inspired blog post a couple of weeks ago. I was featured, can you find me!?

Happy Halloween everybody!!



Amanda said...

What is Alina going to be for Halloween?

Jade Wright said...

How did your halloween turn out Haley?? Sorry to hear you didn't get a chance to get a cool outfit sorted etc. I didn't either to be honest! South Africa is very unfestive to be honest - not cool at all. I just stayed in with Sam in PJ's and watched really gory horror films and ate ice cream :)

The pumpkin carvings look epic though and I hope you had a blast nonetheless!

Areeba said...

My current fear includes being rejected - I HATE THIS FEELING! This scares me a lot.
So how was your halloween? It's not a big deal here in Pakistan so I just watched curse of chucky to add some spookiness!

Susannah said...

How crazy that you have recurring nightmares with cats in them! It's so amazing what our subconscious does with our fears.