The Sweet Days of Fall to Come

 Summer is officially over. I know, I'm a bit behind with this realization. The weather has turned from Summer to Fall overnight. Last week, we had all of the windows open for fresh air. The fans were in place; one in the kitchen window and one permanently on in Alina's bedroom to keep it cool. Last night, I felt a chill throughout the house and closed all the windows and turned the fans off. Today, I am wearing slippers for the first time since probably Spring.

See.. slippers.

 I am looking forward to the Fall though. I'm a homebody at heart. I love snuggling on the couch with a blanket, cup of something warm and book or a good movie. I love it when the lights are on in the living room during the day. There's something comforting about Fall. Summer is great in the beginning but then it gets tiresome. The sun is shining and I should be outside, right? It's a gorgeous afternoon so I should turn off this movie and enjoy the day, right? Well after awhile I stopped feeling guilty and started staying in. I'm sure by next week when it has been raining every day I'll wish for those sunny days. I do love taking Alina out for our daily stroll in town and I know I'm going to really miss being able to do that once the rain is here to stay. I tried using one of those rain covers and I felt like I was suffocating her inside. She was probably only a month old, it was absolutely pouring outside and she was screaming her tiny little head off. Hopefully for this Fall and Winter I will come up with a better system of walking her in the rain.

Yeah, this is what we looked like.... Minus the umbrella (very crucial when it's raining, probably should try to remember that.) Minus the happy baby-insert ANGRY, SCREAMING newborn. Minus happy, dry mom-insert soaking, flustered NEW mom.

 I mentioned in a past post that I was looking forward to things to come. One of the things I was looking forward to, was spending more time with my family. Just us. Already we have had a really good week and weekend..

 I was making dinner and Rob was opening the new remote control that he bought online for our new camera. Now we can take pictures of all three of us, without it having to be a selfie(s)! We were getting ready to feed Alina pureed food for the first time. That was another item on my list of things I was looking forward to!

 She ate carrots and wasn't totally sure about them. She didn't protest, opened her mouth when instructed to do so and finished her supper like a good girl. We have since introduced her to yam, avocado and banana. She is in love with bananas, naturally. I enjoy feeding her so much because she genuinely enjoys eating. Alina even makes her own version of a Mmmmm sound. Whenever she eats her favourites; rice cereal, yams and bananas, she oooh's or mmm's for me to continue. I have a great eater and I couldn't be more proud!

Who knew that I would be bragging about how good my baby eats on my blog?! Who am I!? Nah, I don't mind that my priorities have changed. I no longer blog about being too hung over. ( See this post from 2005 about how D-R-U-N-K I got..) I no longer blog about being alone! ( "Going Solo" a post about being alone from 2005..) Looking back, I certainly don't miss those days.  I don't mind that my posts are littered with pictures of my sweet, little offspring. I love that so much has changed and that I have moved into this part of my life. The pregnancy was exciting and scary. The delivery was enlightening and challenging. The first month was a struggle, with breast feeding and all that comes with a newborn. But now, now is the fun part. I am loving every moment spent with this baby girl.
Life is sweet and so is she...!

"Who Me?" ... Yes, you!

Songs That Define Me

  Helene at Helene In Between is hosting a one time only link up about songs that mean something to you!  She is a lover of music and I am excited to share some music, that means something to me!

//1



 This was my best friend Katie and my song since forever. We would drive fast in her car, blasting this song as loud as it would go. We joke that this would be her, with all of her road rage. It brings me back to, Katie and Haley times!

//2



 This song kills me. every. single. time. I first heard it during the movie, "Michael" about the angel that only has so long on Earth. Right when he realizes he only has so many days left, they cue this song and he just sits in an empty field and soaks up the world around him. I always loved this song. My step dad was diagnosed with cancer in February 2005 and passed in March 2005. Willie Nelson was always one of his favourite artists to listen to.. Rudi always, always, always enjoyed life. He loved animals of all kinds, he appreciated nature and all of its beauty. His passing was such a tragedy not just because he was such a good person, but because I knew how much he loved life and living. The tragedy was knowing all that he would miss because he was no longer here. All of the beautiful sites he would no longer see, all of the unique experiences he would miss out on.. Listen to Willie's voice and imagine it is my Rudi, singing about the world he no longer lives in. This song will forever remind me of him..

//3

 

 I realize, that this is the same song as #2, but by the original artist. I have a neat story that goes along with this particular version of this song..
 During the months before my wedding in 2010, I phoned my dad and asked him to pick out a song that he thought represented us as father and daughter, that we could dance to on my wedding day. It took him awhile to come up with a song. He ended up choosing a Tim McGraw song that was beautiful, about fathers and daughters. I admit, that at the time I was disappointed because I didn't know the song very well and was expecting something else. But, my dad was born and raised in Alberta (Country music thrives there!) and he was in a few bands that played strictly country music. So, I didn't question it because it was what he chose and that's what I had wanted. My dad was fighting cancer for over two years on and off. When my wedding approached, he managed to travel to my town so that he could be here for me. On the day of the wedding, I was told by my mom and sister that dad was far too ill to make it to the wedding. My wedding was July 10th and dad passed away on July 27th. I didn't realize how ill he really was at the time. Dad disappointed me a lot throughout the years, but mostly near the end of his life. Looking back now, the biggest gift he could have given me was having him in my town, when I was married to Rob. He was there for me at a time when I needed him the most and at a time that was most inconvenient for him; when he was literally dieing. After his passing we traveled to dad's hometown for his funeral and I got to talking to my step mom. At our wedding, we didn't give out wedding mints but we gave out cd's that we made. Each cd had a list of songs that meant something to Rob and I. My sister in law couldn't find the Willie Nelson version of "What A Wonderful World" so she put the Louis Armstrong version on instead. I remember Rob was very upset because he knew how important the Willie Nelson version was to me. I reassured him, that I also liked the Louis version and that it wasn't a big deal. My step mom said that she finally popped our wedding cd in the other day and was shocked to hear the song. When my dad was trying to figure out a song for us, he told her that he loved THAT song. She told him, that it was old fashioned and that I probably wouldn't have liked it. So he went with the Tim McGraw song instead. So, in the end- how perfect was it, that the song ended up on our wedding cd and how amazing is it, that he chose the very song that I adore and love. So, one dad gets the Willie Nelson version... the other gets the Louis Armstrong version. This song means everything to me now.

//4

 

 The song Rob and I danced to, at our wedding. Love, love, love this song. I always have a difficult time sharing how I feel, especially when it comes to my love for Rob. I think I've been hurt by important people leaving my life too often and I have a hard time dealing with strong feelings of love. I sound like a robot.. but that is just my defense mechanism to keep the hurt away. Having said that, I have love for Rob like no other and when this song played on our wedding day, I just melted into his loving arms- knowing that he would always, always Stand By Me.

 //5

 

 Another song that explains word for word my feelings towards my amazing husband. Again, I'm not great with expressing my feelings out loud.. So I made him listen to this song once, and I sat beside him with tears in my eyes- from emotion and embarrassment. It just spoke to me and I told him that this song was exactly how I felt about him.. I also tried learning to sing this song... It is Sooooooo hard to sing. So I give the artist so much credit for making it sound easy!

Thinking up songs that are important to me was fun and actually really easy! I have so many more to share, but I'll leave that for another post. Thanks Helene for the inspiration to blog today!

What songs define who you are ??

Tales of Alina and Her Kitty Claws

Today is Tuesday, no Wednesday. Yup, that is the kind of day I am having already. It's not even noon yet and I don't even know what day it is. Maternity leave has a tendency to blur the days into each other.
 So I thought for the last two nights how cool it was that Alina was going to bed earlier than usual. Monday night she was in bed by 7 pm because she was up before 6 am to take her Nonna to the airport. Then Tuesday night rolled around and I figured that she could go down early again. She didn't wake up much earlier Tuesday morning, just one hour earlier. No problem, right!?

HA!  Foolish mommy!

   Wrong. She was up early today. I shouldn't complain because her early wasn't anything obnoxious like 5 am, like some of the a-hole babies my friends have. But, she was up around 7:30 am. Her dad loves it when she wakes when he's getting ready for work because then he has an excuse to pick her up and smooch her. When she's up that early, he can usually just put her in bed beside me, groggy and confused. If I just drape my arm over her torso, she gives up squirming after a minute and falls asleep. Well, that doesn't seem to work anymore. In fact, it's more like pinning your baby's arms down against her will until she SCREAMS in despair. So yes, that is how I woke this morning. I know, I deserve it. I have a six month old baby. What do I expect, right!?
 So Alina and I lay in bed for an additional hour because I am far too lazy to drag my butt out of bed to begin my mommy duties for the day. She is clearly getting annoyed that we've been laying around for so long. She starts to whine a bit here and there. I try to play little games with her.. I lay her between my legs and I smack my thighs to a beat and try to get her to smack them too. She just looks at me slightly amused. Her amusement fades quickly and I am like a joker desperately trying to entertain my king.. "Dance puppet, dance!!"

In bed, trying to keep her entertained.

  Eventually I gave in and got my butt out of bed. I took Alina directly to her bedroom to feed her. She usually eats well and sometimes if she's tired enough- falls asleep. HAHA- not the case today. Today is like no other day we've had before.. She refused to eat, then arched her back and yelled at me to entertain her some more. For some unknown reason I decided to try clipping her finger nails. Usually I can sing a song and distract her long enough to get the deed done. BUT- today, she just watched me intently. Every time and I mean EVERY. TIME. I put the clippers under a nail she would pull her hand away. It was like she was messing with me on purpose. OH YEAH- I remember why I wanted to clip her nails. They feel like kitty claws scratching at my face, every chance she gets. She's quite vicious when she wants to be...

She knows how I feel about cats.. you'd think she'd take it easy on me with those claws..

 Finally I gave up. I got one hand done and just left the other hand full of sharp, dangerous fingertips. I'll deal with it when I find my patience. I've been looking for it all morning.. I can't seem to track it down just yet.

 I give her a bath and dress her with a bit of screaming and yelling. Nothing out of control but definitely not her usual behaviour. I put her in her "office" and let her play where she is while I quickly get ready for the day. I put the kettle on for my decaf coffee and start to mix her rice cereal. She started shrieking and screaming so loud, like someone was pulling her limbs off... that I hurried into the living room to see what was the matter. Oh, she was just finished playing. Wow.

I would prefer this.. "Oh, hi. I'm finished playing now mom."

 I bring her to her high chair to feed her. She is quickly distracted by the new toy I place in front of her. Babies... so easily distracted, it's fantastic. But, as quickly as she was distracted she remembered that she was tired, hungry, annoyed with me and started screaming again. I have never seen her gobble down her rice cereal that quickly ever before. She must have been hungry. The only trouble was as quick as I'd scoop and shovel the clumps of food into her mouth, she would swallow and have her little bird mouth open for more before I had a chance to re-scoop. This frustrated her greatly. Plus when I'm under pressure I tend to get a bit clumsy. I start shoveling food into her nose and drop great big scoops on her hand. Another problem was that she was eating the food at such a rapid pace that I ran out of it. Well, if you have ever had a baby or known a baby.. especially a hungry, peeved baby.. you better get more food- pronto!!

 I don't know if I'm sick or what.. But there is nothing cuter than a screaming baby. They just look so sad it's pathetic and cute all at once. Alina had her first shots when she was three months old. All the moms I know told me about how sad it was, to see their baby in pain for the first time. It made them cry because of it. Well, when Alina had her shots, I laughed. I know! I'm sick. But she was so happy, just looking around and then boom- the needle went in and she went from being all like, "Why are we here? Why do I have to sit here on you like this?" to "WHAAAAAAT THE FUUUUUU#* WAS THAAAAT!!??" The cute to so pissed off and sad just makes me giggle. So when she was wearing her food goatee' (compliments of mommy) and started freaking out crying, I thought it was pretty damn cute. I couldn't help but kind of laugh at her, in a sympathetic way of course. I'm not that sick. I am more upset now, that I didn't think to grab my cell and snap a picture of it. It was so cute.

This is a repeat offender for pictures on my blog. BUT- imagine this face but with a food goatee'.. CUTE, right!?!

 So, yeah- that is how my day is going so far. Not horrible. Not great. But I decided while the little demon napped I would start my post. Then, out of nowhere I look at her on the baby monitor and she is just laying there, staring at nothing forever. She was getting all Paranormal Activity on me.. Kind of unsettling. But within minutes, she spit her soother out and started sucking her blanket. Then, the raspberries came in full force. She always seems to find energy after any nap... even the short ones.

JUST. STARING.

 I took a little break and have returned with a completely different attitude. My baby girl seems to have forgotten about her craziness this morning. I think I got my sweet girl back since she woke from her nap. Phew. Hopefully the rest of this day will be less screamy...

I can trust that face........... right?

Writing Because I Can

 Here I am without an idea in my head.. just writing because I can! My company is officially out of here! It was so nice having people here to keep me busy during the day. But after nearly a full month of company, I am happy to get some normalcy back in my days.

A tired, messy haired- done with company ME.

 I have many memories to put in my pocket to take out when I start to miss my family, my friends from back home or Rob's family. But for now, I am just happy to be. I love our life. It's simple, it would probably bore some people, but it's mine and I like living it.

Some things I have to look forward to:

//1  Alina starts eating solid foods this week! I am introducing carrots to her, either tomorrow or Wednesday. She is eating rice cereal and is IN LOVE with the first package I bought her. She, on the other hand HATES the cereal I bought her from the health food store. I was trying to be something I'm not, if I'm being totally honest. A cashier at the grocery store told me about this healthier version of the cereal when I was buying the "less healthy" package the other day. I didn't really want to buy it because I was half annoyed that the lady was telling me that the stuff I was buying was bad for my baby. (Mind your business, right?!) But, at the same time I realized that it was for my baby and her health. I figured it would be irresponsible and immature for me to ignore this suggestion just because I'm stubborn. So I went into the dreaded health food store for the first time ever and purchased the organic cereal and some teething cookies. Turns out, my baby girl is a lot like her mom. She would rather eat the stuff that's bad for you...

Okay, I'll give it a try...

She actually gagged and spit up the cereal. Plus she made this face a few times.. 

Alina eating the cereal from the grocery store..

Alina eating the cereal from the health food store...

She did however, love chewing on the teething cookie!

 //2  Spending quality time with just Rob, Alina and I. Uninterrupted, one on one family time! I know it sounds selfish but it feels like it's been awhile since we just existed.. the three of us.

//3  Fall television! I stinkin' love t.v..!!! I'm not going to pretend like I'm too busy or have better things to do because quite frankly, I don't! I love my shows.. but I'll only list my top fav's..

Parenthood - heart warming, gut wrenching and totally emotional! I love this one hour show and wish it was on all year long!

 New Girl- I always end up laughing out loud and I love each and every character, so there is  never a dull moment in the show.

The Voice- I know, I know.. I have to include a reality music show of some sort! We all watch them! I used to be devoted to American Idol and I refused to watch The Voice. But, with all of the judges coming and going, I switched to The Voice. I love that the auditions are done blindly, so it is judged strictly on the person's voice. I enjoyed Shakira and Usher last season. But I always love Blake and Adam's comedic dynamic.

 Chicago Fire- This one I'm a bit ashamed of loving. Rob is a fire fighter and this show is his soap opera. It's smutty, it's soooo unrealistic but it is also action packed and full of cliff hangers. At first I assured Rob that this was his guilty pleasure and I would gladly read my book while it was on. Yeah, well now I'm pretty hooked!

 //4  Spending more time with my mom, now that she seems to have the right attitude towards life! As of recently, mom has taken a hold of her life again.. She's getting out and saying YES to situations rather than no. She was incredibly unhappy and instead of just complaining about it, she took control and did something about it. Her new apartment is very cozy and I look forward to bringing Alina over to spend time with her more often.

Out for lunch..!

Alina with her Baba and Nonna for lunch!

At Baba's new place!

 //5  Finally, I look forward to improving the appearance of my blog with helpful tutorials from Sarah at Venus Trapped In Mars. I also can't wait to really brainstorm some interesting, FUN topics to write about. I have always loved writing but ever since I reentered Blogland, my mind is just screaming for me to keep up with new posts. I feel rejuvenated.. I feel alive.. I feel like writing all day long!

Future writer in the family....???

Friends of Ours

 Wednesday was a different kind of day for me.. For anyone, really.

 My mom decided that living with her mom was putting a heavy strain on their relationship. They are better off, living on their own and they both know it. So my mom found a nice apartment to rent, a bit closer to my house and she moved in on Wednesday night. I'm incredibly happy for her because this was something she desperately needed to do. She was getting very difficult to be around because of her unhappiness. When I heard that she found a place I felt instant relief. She's been riding on a very positive, cheerful and motivational high ever since my sister visited with her family. I don't know where it came from but all I know is that I don't want it to leave. This new and improved mom is really impressing me and also I find myself wanting to be around her more.

Mom with her grand babies.

 There was a catch to my mom moving out of Gran's house though. She owns two dogs, Audi and Lucy. We've had Audi since I was 15 and Lucy since I was probably 16 or 17. They've been through everything with us; the tragedy, the moving back and fourth that my mom did over the years. Everything. They've been her little sidekicks and I couldn't imagine her without them. Recently we found out that Audi, who is I believe 14 years old is partially blind and deaf. I had no idea, until an Aunt pointed it out and then I tested poor Audi and found it to be true. Lucy has recently developed a shaking problem at night. She wakes up in the middle of the night and shakes for an hour or two. No one knew why and she wouldn't be herself all the next day. The dogs are my mom's little buddies but at the same time, they are very neurotic. Yes, that's right.. Dogs can be neurotic, or at least mom's dogs are. They don't like to be left alone, granted most dogs don't. But they howl wildly until she returns. They are afraid of flies. Yup, that's right.. flies.
 My mom found out that she can't have pets in this apartment or many others that she looked at. I can't take the pups because I already have my hands full with Alina. Gran is getting up there in age, and she isn't as agile as she used to be. In the end, mom had to face a difficult decision. She would have them put down.

 At first I was horrified. My family dogs!! We can't just let them go that easily. Someone has to be able to take them in. Mom talked to the SPCA and found out that they would take them, but that older dogs with anxiety problems would have a bit of a tougher time finding a home. People aren't usually looking for deaf, blind dogs or dogs that are afraid of flies and that can't be left alone. 
 I am sure that this was the hardest decision she's ever had to make. Those dogs are her life and she constantly talked to them and snuggled them on a daily basis. I think she is at a point in her life where a decision this big could really change her life, but in a good way. As much as she loves those girls, they also held her back from doing a lot of things. If there's one thing my mom does not need, it's an excuse. If she has one, she usually uses it to get out of doing anything social. (Except for recently. I'm telling you, she's a changed woman!)

 Audi and I have a very close relationship. It sounds ridiculous, but it's true. She would follow me everywhere when I lived at home. I used to put her in my hoody, zip it up and walk around with her in it, like a kangaroo. To be honest, she still followed me around at mom and grannie's house too. We always had a tight bond because we grew up together. She was there for me during some tough times in my teen years. I would cry and hold her in my arms, listening to sappy music in my bedroom. She was always there for me. So, in Audi's time of need- I decided to see her to the end.
 Lucy was always my step dad Rudi's dog. She was a father's day present for him and those two were very close. She would sit outside the front window around the same time everyday, waiting for his Mazda to putter up to the front yard. She'd see him get out and start whimpering and running around the house in excitement. When he passed away, Lucy was crushed. She didn't understand where he was and continued to sit at the front window until the day we moved to B.C.

 I understand that this post is very controversial. People are going to think that mom just killed the dogs off because she didn't want them anymore. This is honestly not the case. My mom isn't a cruel person. She was in a situation where she had to make a big decision. She didn't feel like it would be a good idea to send them off to the SPCA because they would instantly be separated. Their nerves would most likely get the best of them because again, they were very anxious, nervous puppies. If they did find a home- would it be to a family that would care for them in the right ways? There were just too many questions. Instead mom being a big believer in the after life decided that once she put the puppies down, they would be with their daddy again. Rudi would be waiting for them and they could be with him. I know it sounds like, "Miffy the cat is going to the farm to live with all of the other barn animals. She will be so happy there kids- don't worry!" excuse. I firmly believe that the dogs' little spirits will go be with Rudi's spirit and the will "live on" that way.

 Wednesday. Wednesday at 3:30 was the vet appointment. I met mom there and sat with the dogs in the car before we were waved inside. It's hard to describe the feelings I was having. I felt nervous and dismal at the sight of them. They weren't really excited or afraid in the car, which helped me. Once we carried them into the vet's office, they became shaky and afraid. They never liked going to the vet because it always meant they were getting a thermometer in the bum or a needle of some kind. We sat and listened to the procedure from the vet. The entire process was well done. The dogs were sedated to ease their anxiety and to have them relax. I felt like once they were sedated, I was too. A cloud of calm came over me and that was a tremendous relief. I kept my sunglasses on because I felt a sense of guilt when we first came. I was almost ashamed.. After a bit, the vet and her assistant assured us in their gentle, friendly manner that it was going to be okay. The time arrived and I felt a wave of panic come over me. Mom definitely felt it too. But we stayed strong and held onto our little friends. Mom held Lucy and I held Audi and they passed on in our arms.

 I wanted to write about it even though it's a ... different sort of situation. I know that I will be judged for having been there, for not "saving" them, for allowing my family pets to go without a fight. But I needed to release the experience. I have to let it go, like I let them go. I don't regret being there for Audi and Lucy because I feel like having both of us there made them feel more at ease. Audi was very adamant about staying on my lap and I'm glad I could provide comfort to her, when she needed it the most.

 This post wasn't about convincing anyone else that what we did was okay.. I needed to write it out, so I could convince myself that it was.. I needed to write what I felt and how I feel. I needed to quietly share this with the world.. even though it's hard.

Audi and Lucy you were two really good girls. You lived long lives and I think you went out of this world, when things were still good. You weren't peeing your beds or full of arthritis. You were spry, you were happy and you had a good time while you were here. I love you, little friends. I'm sorry my time with you is over, but I'm so happy that you get to be with your biggest fan of all; your daddy.

Lucy

Audi

Snail Mail Collective - Under The Sea

Last month I was going through my list of blogs I always read, when I came across one of my fav. bloggers - Amanda from Rhyme and Ribbons. She participated in something called the Snail Mail Collective hosted by Melyssa and Chelsea. 

 Basically Chelsea and Melyssa came up with an idea for all of us bloggers to interact in a way that we probably never would have otherwise.. It's an international package exchange with fellow bloggers from all over the world.  The sign up for the Snail Mail Collective is on the first of every month.  Each month is assigned a theme and August was Under The Sea. I signed up and within a few days I was matched up with Erica from Tanzania, Africa. We sent a couple of friendly messages to get to know the other and went on our mission to come up with a nice care package for the other. The parcels are not supposed to cost more than $5.00 and a post card or letter is also sent.                

 Erica is away on a wild adventure right now, so my package will be waiting in the mail when she returns. (Update: You can see what I sent her HERE)
  Erica is a mom of a gorgeous little girl, who is over a year old and a total beach baby. She's from Hawaii originally, married the love of her life and now lives in Tanzania, Africa with her family and as of very recently- a new wee one on the way! Check out some of her adventures at To The Sea. When I read that the theme for August was Under The Sea and that Erica blogs over at "To The Sea" I realized we were a match! We both live by the beach and have little ones, both born in March with similar names.

 Right before leaving on her trip to Italy, Erica tried sending my parcel and was told it was going to cost A LOT more than necessary. So instead, she ordered me something online and had it shipped directly to my house.

Alina trying to eat the package at the mail box this morning..

Then, I read the SAFETY FIRST warning and promptly took it away from her........

 Erica sent me a beautiful Jack Will's bracelet. The purchase of each bracelet helps raise money to end malaria deaths in Africa. I'm happy that I could be a reason for her to give money to a good cause. She wrote about Do Good By Us in a recent post a few weeks ago.. If anyone is interested, please visit the post or go to Jack Wills Website for more information on how to help!

 I enjoyed participating in the Snail Mail Collective this month. I plan to sign up again in October! It's a great way to connect with people all over the world. I now, Follow Erica on Bloglovin' and have since started following some of her followers too. You just never know who you're going to "meet" through activities like these..!

Baby Gone Batty

It's been awhile since I've posted about my baby girl, Alina. She continues to be my day to day and it is hard to think up non-Alina related things to blog about because she is usually sitting by me smiling, blowing spitty raspberries and shrieking in happiness. (So cute, so distracting.)

Being 'batty' with her dad.

 She's recently entered a phase at night time.. usually around 6 pm, where she turns crazy. Rob calls it the "witching hour". We still aren't completely sure why she gets like that, but without fail 6 pm rolls around and she's a mad woman baby!
 No, it has a lot to do with her getting tired and we don't want to put her down for a nap because she'll over sleep and then she won't be going to bed at her usual 8 pm.  I love my baby with all of my heart but once the clock ticks 8 pm, it's Mom and Dad time! I don't mean that in a dirty way, I mean it in a "me time" way. She gets tired and then she gets wild. She sits in her little exersaucer aka her office and chews on anything and every thing that she can get her dripping with spit, little hands on..!
   The "witching hour" is not an uncommon thing either. I was at a play date (yes, I just wrote that.. I am now a woman that goes to play dates!) with a few other moms and they all agreed that their little ones get a bit rambunctious before bedtime too.

Okay, not too crazy in this one...yet.

Ohhh there's my crazy girl..!

Alina is nearing six months at the end of next week and I can comfortably admit that she is a good baby. She really is. She sits quietly playing by herself a lot during the day. I don't leave her to play alone all day long, but if I wanted to I know that I could and she would be just fine. My girlfriend was in town months ago and she was impressed with how well Alina took to her surroundings. I have stations all around the house that I put her in. There's the exersaucer which is her newest and absolute favourite spot. She stands in that thing and plays to her heart's content. I put her in it so often because she loves it. She used to love her swing but now that she's older she doesn't like being on her back as much. We have a new swing, that can be tied to a tree branch that we've introduced. She's a little dare devil and really enjoys swinging up up up in that one! It doesn't matter where she is, she is usually happy.

 One way that we can get Miss A calm when she's in one of her whacky moods, besides an early bedtime is with the guitar. That baby LOVES her some music. But not just music, live music. It doesn't matter what she's doing, where she is, mid cry, mid bite; as soon as the music starts, her attention goes right to the guitar. I love that she is so into it. I can only hope that she'll be interested enough when she can learn to play herself. I really want her to play one day.

So, this post was really all about my girl. I love her and can't help writing about her from time to time! She's my world exclusively this year. Next year, she'll still be my world but I'll be working full time again. I'm enjoying every last minute, full time with her. I don't even want to imagine what I'll miss when I return to work!!!

Ailurophobia- say whaaa?

Alright, it's time to share with the world one quirky thing about me.. I have a fear of cats.

Now it's not an intense fear like some people have for spiders and snakes. I can see a cat and it doesn't gross me out or scare the hell out of me. I can even have them near me. But, I don't trust them. No one should trust a cat. (*Unless they are very familiar with that particular cat and it has been good for many, many years and has built up trust. There are exceptions.)

 I loathe the walking fur balls for a few reasons.

//1 Cats have sharp teeth and claws. I know a lot of animals with teeth and claws that I can be comfortable around. Cats have sharp teeth and claws and I don't trust them. It's called common sense people... If someone you don't trust is sitting near you, with a sharp knife in one hand and a broken bottle in the other, I'm pretty sure you're going to go ahead and leave that situation as fast as possible.

//2 I am allergic, as in VERY allergic. My girlfriend has four cats and I've visited her place twice since I moved away. She will clean that house from top to bottom, bleaching, sweeping, dusting, vacuuming- you name it. I will walk in and within five minutes I'm sneezing. I sneeze and she promptly yells, "Son of a bitch, already!!!??" I have always been allergic so I don't know how to handle a cat because I've never actually held one before.

This is how I feel when I'm super allergic to cats.. Drooling, snotting, half in a daze from allergy pills that aren't working!!!

  //3 Cats are completely foreign to me. I am allergic so I just don't hold cats. I have always kept away from them because I have to.. Cats are always drawn to me for some reason too.( I think they sniff out my apprehension towards them.) They will hop up onto my lap and this has actually happened a number of times in different scenarios. I never know what to do. I am always really uneasy and very politely ask the owner if they could please get their cat off of me. Like I said, I don't know how to handle them and plus, I don't trust them therefore I don't touch them.

Okay, so this picture basically makes me a liar. It is the FIRST time I ever held a cat. Such a moment that I made Rob take FOUR pictures of me....!

 //4 The stories!! How many horror cat stories have I heard in my lifetime!?!? A million- that's how many. I recently read a post from a fellow blogger and good family friend about her new kitten that just had me howling with laughter but also completely proving my point and theory on cats; they can't be trusted!! There's a show called "My Cat From Hell".. and the cats on this show are terrifying!!




(If you get a minute, check out this one. There were many, many horrifying cats with some serious deep seeded issues- this was just one..!)

//5  Bad experiences. We had family friends growing up that had a mean cat, Fritz. You didn't mess with him. I never did but he was pretty bad ass. I remember going into the bathroom once to wash my hands and I turned around and there Fritz was, half a tail, scratches and scars on his face from cat fights, blocking my exit. I just remember nervously yelling for my mom to rescue me. My dad had a hay wire cat named Tux that was just wild. I always slept on the couch at my dad's and Tux would just wait for my hand to drop in my sleep. He didn't ever do anything, he just spazzed out all of the time and freaked me out in the process. Max- my Auntie's crazy kitten that would attack my baby cousin's FACE. Yup, his cute little unsuspecting face. Terrified the crap out of me. My best friend, with her four cats... I stayed at her house two years ago on the pull out couch. Cats sleep during the day and yup- you guessed it.. they're up all night, or at least her's were. So I was going to sleep and I could hear them running, playing and fighting all around me. UNDER my bed.. it made my back arch in fear. I remember wanting to let them out of the house so I could relax and get some sleep but I was too terrified to get off of my bed in fear that one of them was waiting under the bed for my bare ankles to drop and attack. Shudder. No joke, I just shuddered.

 //6 Catmares. Oh yes, that's a word. I made it up, based on the nightmares I have of cats. I have no idea when these nightmares started but it has been in the last ten years. I used to have one for sure a month. Lately I have had a catmare maybe once every two to three months. I even know in my dream what is going on. I see a cat and I'm like, "Oh shit. It's a f**king cat, here we go. This is turning bad really soon." The cat is normal at first but then something happens and boom that cat is always and I mean always attacking me. Biting me, and not letting go. I pull it off and it's jaw latches onto another body part. It's awful and gruesome and seriously f**cking terrifying. Plus the cats in my dreams are like f**cking cat ninjas. They can get through tiny cracks under closed and locked doors. I am never safe. I wake up out of breath and always sweating my ass off. I am soaked after a catmare. It sucks...

"Sweet Dreams"

So yeah, I'm afraid of cats. They make me nervous. A cat enters the room and I am like, "Ohhhh you have a cat. Great." I instantly have the urge to bring my knees up to my chin and to hold onto my ankles and feet to prevent any temptations to these untrustworthy psychopaths. It's not their fault- they're cats! They can't help their psycho tendencies.. it's who they are....!

But I will be nice and admit that I have met one cat that melts my heart. Rob's parents have two cats; Buddy and Carling. Buddy is still kind of psycho. I remember coming home from the bar and I was pretty wasted. I decided I wasn't afraid of cats anymore and I started petting Bud. Buddy goes kind of creepy when you pet him. He gets really into every pet like he's never had human hands touch his head before.. When I decided to stop he clawed at me to continue and that was enough to give me a heart attack. But, Carling is a sweet cat. He is so lazy that even if I angered him he would probably just talk about me to his cat friends instead of do anything about it.

A very lazy, very happy Carling.

Oh and don't even get me started on BIG cats. Sometimes just to freak myself out, I go on Google and type in the words black panther and I work up my nerve to press ENTER. Oh. My. God. I just did it so that I could use the link on my blog and I am sweating. No JOKE! I am seriously sweating. The very image of a black panther snarling makes me want to pee my pants.
So there it is! My big fear of cats is out. Now Blogland knows of my weird, quirky fear and my strange never ending catmares. Please feel free to feel sorry for me... If you have a cat, be careful.... they can not be trusted..

Oh and I guarantee I'll be having a catmare soon just because I wrote about cats and googled black panthers AND searched so many cat images. Darn it!!