Thursday, October 05, 2006

Weight Lifter

Mama and I in a place we like to call; Heaven on Earth.

If I didn't want to be a writer so bad, I think I would seriously consider being a therapist, or something like that. I have loved hearing problems since I can't remember. I liked hearing from my friends what they should do in their relationships, all through high school. I never missed the opportunity to let a person know what I thought was up. My opinions aren't usually wrong, as bold as a statement that is. When it comes to advice, I think I give it pretty accurately. I am proud of that.

I phoned my sister the other day. She was having a tough time coping with work and what not. I made her feel so much better by the end of the conversation, and in taking the credit for that; I felt really happy that I could help.

My mom phoned me today and she told me that I was really smart for my age. Wow, I thought, I don't think my mom has ever really said that to me before. My head puffed up three sizes bigger and I nearly floated out of the room, feet dragging below me.

" I can't believe those words just came out of your mouth. I am really going to consider what you said."

She left me with that thought lingering in my head. My family really does come to me with just about everything. I don't think since I've been a little girl, have I been out of the loop, with serious matter going on in the family. Most people have been in the dark about some family issues because other family members feared how one would react. Well, I think that no one thinks I will react all that badly.

I phoned my dad the other night. He seemed relatively pleased that I had phoned. I hadn't spoken to him in over a month. This is something we are trying to eliminate in our relationship. We want to keep in touch as much as possible now that we live so far away. Near the end of our conversation he told me that he didn't want to tell me something, but then at the last minute, decided that he wanted me to know.. He had some tumours found in his bladder and will be going through a minor surgery to remove them. Etc, etc. Normally, with any other family member, I think heart attacks would have been had. But with me, I took all the information in and decided that we would keep this a secret from my siblings until after the surgery and until his results come back to see if the tumours were cancerous or not. Though I have to say I did start shaking when I told Rob the story. I can't say I am not worried. But I am going to continue to protect the rest of my family until I have to tell them what is up. ( any results good or bad.. come in.)

I am like this big shield that stands infront of the ones I love the most. This weekend Rob and I are giving up our one year anniversary so that we can do something else for someone else that is much more important.

At times I feel I have the weight of my family on my shoulders. But my shoulders were the only ones meant for this kind of a load.. and I am more than happy to carry it.

Rob and I in Heavenly Snug Cove..


Anonymous said...

You are wise beyond your years! I hope everything is ok with your dad.

Holli said...

This is exactly what I meant when I said we end up in the family we belong with.. You might not always like being the strong one - but they need you, and you obviously do a great job at it.

Maybe you should go back to school to be a counselor and do freelance writing on the side? Or hell, do whatever your heart tells you to do. Because if you try to hold yourself back now, you'll never go for your dreams.