Monday, May 01, 2006

Filling the Pages..

I have returned full time to write out my feelings daily and I couldn't be more excited. Our computer is now hooked up here at our house in Q.B.

The house is silent and that is strange for me, to be writing in silence again. I love uninterrupted writing, it is the best kind there is..

"Relationships are so much work, but are so rewarding when they work out.." I wrote that to a friend today. There is so much truth to that. I think that there is a lot of excess that needs to be sorted out in any relationship. I know that with me there was a lot of trust issues, with my mom she had three kids to deal with a father that wasn't there anymore and a new one that was.. I know that other people have to face such things as different beliefs or religions, feuding in laws, etc. The list really goes on. We are put on this earth for a number of reasons. But there is a very important one.. and that is to find that someone that .. understands us, who loves us for what we have been through and more so for what we have become. I am loved for who I am and that leaves me dazzled and elated. I have found someone that sees something in me that I am not even aware of. I look in the mirror some days and wonder why he looks at me the way that he does.. But I trust it. I allow myself to feel beautiful, flawless. I know that he sees me like no one else has and I can feel his love everyday that I share with him.

I can't say that I understand how it is supposed to work. I do understand that we come across different people in our lives and become infactuated with them.. We even believe that we are in love when in fact we are not. Or we are in love but with the wrong person, entirely. I believe that I have been in love in the past. I know what it's like to love and be betrayed. I know what it's like to pretend to love just to feel loved back. I also know what it's like to be in love, playing house and believing in someone that isn't even old enough to know himself yet. I am in love again. A different love this time.. I am in love after the bills are payed, after company has left.. I am in love after a senseless fight that we didn't let get too out of hand.. This kind of love is different from the rest because it is realistic. I feel grown up. Even though I have yet so much more to learn, so much more to grow myself. I feel that Rob and I are strong enough to grow together.. successfully together.

This relationship has already taught me more than any other.. In the short six or seven months that we have been together I know more about myself and life.. I think the two of us work well together. We are in love and that is clear to our family and friends and we are excited about each other. We have this new life in front of us.. blank pages ahead in a very large book...

We've got it all and we haven't stopped smiling since it began.

This weekend at Chips..

Last weekend at Sushi Restaurant..

Last weekend where the times are Irish..