Monday, March 17, 2014

A Typical Day

 In honour of going back to work today, I thought I'd write a pharmacy related post. I have mentioned time and time again that I live in a retirement community. So you can imagine the majority of customers that stroll shuffle through the doors each day.

 I'm taking a page from Nicole at Not Before My Tea and I'm writing out a list- of the typical customers that will walk through our pharmacy doors in a typical day.

//1  Mr. Inquisitive.This is the customer with ALL of the questions. It doesn't matter how busy I may be, or how busy the pharmacist happens to be, this person will always ask as many questions as he feels because he's curious and doesn't care that he's holding up a bunch of people.

//2  Mr. Ignorant. This customer acts like he doesn't understand that things cost money. He just assumes that certain items are free until he is told otherwise. Or he jokingly asks if he has to pay for it, secretly hoping I'll take pity and let him have it for free. (I don't.)

//3  Mrs. HOW Much!? The old lady that is shocked and appalled at our prices. every. single. day. I know, things are rather expensive in a small pharmacy like ours. But, I just can't stand it when someone knows that a bottle of vitamins will be $8.99 just like last time and has to sigh and go on and on about it before finally handing over the cash.

 //4  Mrs. Trusty Pants. This customer is often one of my favourites because she is usually kind and sweet. She doesn't look at the price of any item because she trusts me. She will fork over any amount of money for a pack of gum and not think twice about it. She also carries around an obscene amount of cash in her wallet. It's a damn good thing she lives in the kind of community that we live in because in a big city she would be fresh meat for any criminal.

//5  The Junkies. There is always a handful of these folks. I usually refer to them as the All Stars. Sadly this person is completely addicted to his prescription medicine. This person will say and do anything to get this medication even when it's too early. He will give every excuse no matter how ridiculous. He has no shame and will say whatever it takes to get what he wants. Often the worst of the bunch.

 //6   Debbie Downer. Oh this person is always sick. This person's boss is such an asshole. This person has had everything bad you can possibly imagine happen to her. She doubts that the new anti-depressant she's been prescribed will work. She doesn't think that her family will ever understand how hard her life is. She just wants to talk about herself. She chooses to talk only to hear her own voice and she has absolutely zero interest in anyone else. This person, is a real treat.

 //7  The Over-Sharer. Ahh, yes. This person will tell you about her poop, she'll tell you that she hasn't had sex in over a year and that she definitely thinks her husband left her because he was sleeping with her best friend. Oh dear, this one is even more of a treat than Debbie Downer because she doesn't get how uncomfortable she is making me...

 //8   The Friend In Real Life. This is always complicated because working in a pharmacy leads to some pretty personal issues. I try to be as discreet as possible and as disinterested to what this friend is in to pick up. I also take pride in the fact that I am very professional and never even consider sharing this kind of information with anyone.

This is my friend Holly. She came to the pharmacy once or twice. No big deal, but she's my friend and was a customer. LOL- hey, I needed a picture..!!
 //9  The Proud Blue Pill User. Yes, this man is often very proud that he is still having sex. So proud that he likes to order his blue pills in a loud, booming voice from the front doorway. He orders his pills and announces to us (and whoever else is waiting in the pharmacy) that he will be back after he has some coffee.

//10 The Perv. The perv is always an old man, in my case. He doesn't care that his jokes are very inappropriate and make the (again, twenty something year old) pharmacy tech very uncomfortable. He comments on my appearance and how I look good enough to Insert Inappropriate Verb Here. He is usually sexist as well as inappropriate and most likely a little racist too. He thinks he's a real charmer and is often pissing his Depend wearing pants because he's also currently shitfaced as well. (For the record- I have not come across a perv with all of these qualities. I was just putting together a few pervs to create the worst possible perv I could imagine.)

This is actually my brother in law Joe. He doesn't read my blog, so this is even funnier.



Brianna said...

Oh my goodness - this is so relatable with my retail job! Some people...ugh! Too funny...thanks for sharing, girl!

Sarah said...

Hello Haley dear! Long time no see! I thoroughly enjoyed this post. Blue Pill Man - ha! I have always thought that working in a pharmacy would be interesting work, but never considered the best aspect - interacting with people picking up their meds! I know I have been in pharmacy situations where I'm just thinking, "don't judge me, please don't judge me..." I bet you have tons of great stories there. I hope you are having an easy, stress-free day back at work and I hope it goes by super fast.

Kerri Lynne said...

We call the Debbie Downers 10-Percenters... Our theory is that 10% of the population make up 90% percent of the tax dollars spent on health care. They have EVERYTHING wrong with them and aren't afraid to tell you about their latest ailment. I've even heard some of them make up things because they want sympathy!
Life is always interesting when you work with the public!

Anonymous said...

Haha. I love this. I am totally going to show it to my sister in law. She is a pharmacy tech and will definitely get a kick out of it too. Hope you had a great first day back to work!

Ilda said...

Hello dear great blog,would you like to follow each other,let me know :)

Amanda said...

How was you first day back?!? I hope you didn't miss Alina too much! X

Jade Wright said...

Ahhhhhhh hahahahaha the fact that you used your brother in law, Joe, as the perv is brilliant!!!! :)
I really had a good giggle at this and that photograph is perfect!! Classic! Hahahaha... brilliant post Haley.

Much love xx

Megan Campbell said...

OMG I can't believe today is the day. I love that you did a positive and REALLY funny post.
Did I ever tell you that I used to be a pharmacy tech?! I worked in my hometown which is mainly old people since the graduating high school class was only 75 kids. Every single one of these people came into the pharmacy!
The people who got viagra were either really proud or REALLY awkward. The usuals just accepted the fact that we fill the prescription and knew what was going on but the people who clearly came from out of town to have it filled cracked me up.
My grandmother, god bless her, was the person who never understood why things were so expensive. I can hear her now.
I loved this post!! Have a good day at work Mama!

Alex[andra] said...

And this is why I dislike working in customer service. You run into a lot of these characters in pretty much ALL customer service industries!

My step-mom works in a pharmacy too. I'm going to ask her if she runs into these people! Heh.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! I thought driving a school bus was bad! We only have to deal with the kids on a daily basis! On the occation the parent! I always wondered why yall always looked so thrilled when i would go get my prescriptions!

Rachel said...

haha--I could write my own version of this for a salon! The people we meet...since Angel works in healthcare, too, he's told me about the junkies and how obvious they are...and also how it ups the awkward level when you both know a person and you know what meds they're taking.