Friday, August 04, 2006

Low Expectations

((Insert Pic of Me Bored)) - blogger didn't feel like allowing my other pic to show ...

The clock bells chime in the distance as I sit lazily in my chair, puffing grudgingly on my cigarette. Lately these stolen moments to have a smoke aren't as satisfying.

How is it that I continue to misplace my water every where I go? Or my notebook.. I used to have five notebooks at hand everywhere I looked. Now it seems I'm so busy... doing not much, to write like I used to. How that makes sense, I don't really know.

Each time the bells chime to introduce a new hour, it reminds me that I am still doing the same thing I was doing the last time the bells rang.

I'm not depressed nor am I unhappy. I'm just in a blah state. I have a bladder infection, I'm eating antibiotics and I'm watching Dinner and a Movie's bad skits in between a Ben Affleck chick flick on TBS.

I don't feel like sleeping or staying awake. I'm stuck here in .. limbo? I'm in a place where we're tired from all of our company we just had in July. I'm barely hanging on to every repetitive day at work, anticipating our trip to T. Bay. We have run out of good food and laundry detergent, but we don't want to go buy more food because we know we're leaving for two weeks.

Rob's job is taking a lot out of him. The poor guy works and sweats his balls off every day on top of a roof in the sweltering summer heat. Each day at work I anticipate those same bells that allow me to dash out of those doors. The same doors I swear I am going to run through mid shift oneday because I can. Once I'm off, I return home with big intentions to do the laundry, fold clothes, have a shower, brush my hair.. eat properly. Waaaay down the list... exercise.
HA-fuckin-HA! Not happening anytime soon.

Damn it- I reached for my water again it's still not there!!

I do have to say doing nothing gets dull. But it does feel great, knowing nothing is really expected of me. I think the same goes for sleeping beauty here next to me.

Carpe' Diem..


Anonymous said...

I LOVE this entry! You summed up pretty much how I am feeling. Not unhappy or depressed ... just ... here. My body is in Texas, but my heart and mind are still back in Destin. Sigh.

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