Thursday, August 31, 2006

Just Me

This is my family:


My Robert..

My mama and her babies..

Today is just for me.

I am having an extra day before I go back to work, back to my old routine. I feel a bit lost this afternoon. Maybe it's because Rob and I have been together everyday for the last two and a half weeks. Leaving me alone in my house to do whatever I want is what I always look forward to. But today, I just feel kind of out of it.

I decided early on to catch up on my online stuff. I've updated my hi5 account with all of my pictures from my holidays. I caught up on fellow blog friends that I hadn't checked up on lately. I basically have sat on the computer all morning.

Is it wrong to not want to go out? Or to be seen by anyone I know? I just don't feel like seeing people today. Other than my mom and Rob. Mom might be coming over for some chili this evening. I really hope she comes. She's been down lately and has quite a lot going on in her life. If I could have password protected blogs, I would, but I really don't know how.. So I'll just have to leave it at that.

I love my mama and hope that she realizes how much she is loved.

It was so nice having my brother here. He said he was jealous because I had a car and a wicked "beach house." I guess it could be called that. It's near the beach and it is bright orange on the outside. My family is so important to me. Friends are as well. But I am beginning to see how difficult it is to make really good friends, when I'm so far from the people I've known. I just see all of these pictures of old acquaintances back in Hinton on hi5. So many things haven't changed but those pictures always bring me back. They somewhat make me feel guilty or jealous... knowing that I don't have that special bond with anyone back "home". I have a couple of people that I could call good friends. But, even those friends I think I am growing so far from. I know I'll always have something to talk about on the phone, but I wonder if when she phones, she isn't hoping I'm not home so she can just leave a message. I just hope she cherishes our friendship as much as I do.

See this mood? I am all over the place and not making a whole lot of sense. I am happy though. I keep seeing pictures of Rob all over the house or here on the computer and I sigh and think about him. Sometimes I just flat out say to myself, "I love him". Or I am shocked at how good looking he is. It probably doesn't help that I have damn country music singing from my kitchen radio.

Mom's mood changed from yesterday. She might not make it for supper tonight. Oh well. I hope she comes anyway.

I think what I need to do is go buy those tampons I need.. (hence the mood maybe-haha) and come home to my couch, and wrap myself up in a big comfy blanket..and watch day time t.v until I fall asleep. How many people can say that they can really find the time to do that? I know I won't be able to..for quite some time after today..


erin said...

Ah, I hate to hear your mum is having a tough time. I hope she was able to make it over for dinner.

I am so darn jealous! I need a day to curl up on the couch and Sigh.

erin said...

My new home is here now