Friday, November 08, 2013

Describe Her To Me

 I'm reading a good book right now called; "Walking On Broken Glass" written by Christa Allan. It's about a young woman going through rehab for drinking. In one of her therapy sessions the therapist has her describe her mother, but the way that he gets her to got me thinking..

 "Pretend I'm picking your mother up from the airport. Describe her in a way that I will be able to walk right up to her, without knowing her first... Her features, her mannerisms, the way she carries herself..."

 So of course, that got me thinking about how I would describe my mother. I'm going to pretend like I am laying on a couch in a therapy session with a therapist. No filter, just myself and he just asked me to describe my mom to him.

  Well first of all, it wouldn't be difficult to find my mother. She would be the one talking to everyone around her. It doesn't matter if she knows the person sitting beside her. Just the fact that they are near her, gives her the go ahead to chat them up and oh, she does. It's funny you mentioned picking her up from an airport because it is usually in busy places like that, that she makes 'friends' with people. My sister and her family were arriving from Nova Scotia and we met my mom at the airport to greet them when they arrived. Well, she had already met everyone waiting around her. She says things like, "Oh, that's Jackson. He's five and in kindergarten. His favourite colour is blue and he's waiting for his grandma Milly who is coming from Edmonton. He's with his mom and his baby sister Amelia." It used to unsettle me because I would think; 'Why does she talk to people she doesn't know'? 'Are they annoyed'? 'Should I be embarrassed'? But I honestly don't feel that way anymore.
 She talks to herself. So even if you are sitting next to her and she's not talking to you, she's still talking... to herself. That one can get annoying, just simply because she never stops talking. I usually don't hear her as much anymore. But if you spend an entire day with her.. it does get a bit tiresome. She doesn't even realize that she is doing it. She also doesn't have a filter in her mind that stops her from saying what she's thinking. Not that she says rude things. She's a very considerate, kind person. But she doesn't think in her mind, she thinks out loud.
 Everyone says that my mom and I look a lot a like. The funny thing is that neither one of us sees it all of the time. I do see the resemblance when she was a teen. But even now, she'll introduce me to her friends and they are bewildered by how much we look a like. We both laugh, because we don't see it.

 My mom is a recovering alcoholic and we're all proud to share that. She's been sober for seven years and she actively goes to AA meetings. So there was a time when she was drinking, that she gained a lot of weight. My mom has always had a small stature. She has broad shoulders and is about 5'6 in height. But at this time in her life, she plumped up pretty heavily. (Sorry mom.) She didn't like being overweight and she really didn't like the way she was dressing back then. I think she may have had a sweater with a cat or something equally awful on it. The reason I'm mentioning the cat sweater is because she now dresses better than I do. She's very fashionable and always has something nice on. I also pointed out to her the other day, that it's not that she has expensive clothes, she just treats her clothes very, very well. She never dries anything. Everything is hung to dry, so the colours never fade and everything looks brand new. She always presents herself well.
 She's usually wearing a pair of earrings that I would wear. Her hair is always dyed nicely, freshly cut and styled. She wears big, dark blue glasses, as of recently. Her glasses are always in with whatever the trend is. So big is back and she's got them!

Mom- Younger Years
 My mom is very thoughtful. She has always been a good person but as of very recently she has been very thoughtful. She quit drinking and joined the program seven years ago. But she took a little break from going to meetings for a few years. She didn't drink in that time, but she wasn't super happy. I think the meetings were more important to her happiness than she realized. She is very self aware and reflects on her behaviour every night before bed. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone did that before going to bed? She'll go over the day and think; "Did I offend so and so when I said that?? She seemed a bit off today. I think I'll ask her about it tomorrow and find out.." I like that about her.
 She loves to love. That sounds stupid, but it's true. She will love you, if you'll let her. She lost her husband, my step dad in 2005. So she has a lot of love inside of her that is just waiting to pour out. With all of that love and tragedy built up inside of her, she is also very emotional and sensitive. I have hurt her feelings many, many times in my life. She's made of cotton candy so it's easy to hurt her. (And believe me, people know that and they hurt her all of the time. It's very unfortunate, actually.)
  She's an amazing Baba to my baby girl and to my sister's little ones; Quinn and Sophie. She lights up at their very names and when she's with them I can see that she is truly, truly happy. My mom has had a lot of obstacles and bumps along her path of life, but she is the best she has ever been, right now. I've never been so proud of her in all of my life. I love her to bits and I'm sure if you saw her at the airport she would probably tell me all about you.

Today I am going to  #BackThatAzzUp with Yoga Pants with a tune I really enjoy. Current Swell is a Canadian Indie Rock band that plays a lot around the island. They come from Victoria and are a very talented group of guys. We watched them live at the first Rock the Shores and it was a great show. The song, "Coming Home" is another one of those songs I request Rob play when we're out and about driving around. Happy Friday.

Coming Home by Current Swell on Grooveshark



Alex[andra] said...

This is a very sweet post. It also makes me want to read the book you mentioned. I read a lot of books about women who have gone through something related to drinking or hard times.

A couple books I really like are The Glass Castle, The Liars Club and Drinking: A Love Story.

Not sure if the book you're reading is based on true events. The ones I read are. It's nice to read stories from women who have survived hard times!

Cotton and Boots said...

Wow, you really need to let your mom read this post. It's so sweet.

Helene in Between said...

this is so sweet. moms are the best thing in the world. i like this idea of describing someone as if someone else needs to see them. and i do see the resemblance from when she was young. people tell my mom and i we look alike all the time!

Noor said...

It's such a sweet post Haley . You look SO much like your mom . Especially the second photo .
Judos to your mom because I have almost read every effort she made and now , it's all working out for her :)

Amanda said...

I second Alex's recommendation of The Glass Castle. I don't know if it's because I haven't seen my mom in awhile but this post made me really emotional. Mother's are so special. And one day Alina might be writing the same thing about you.

Your mother is so strong and brave. And she is beautiful. I adore the picture of you two together on your wedding day! xx

Susannah said...

What an interesting idea to describe someone like that. Your mom sounds like an increadible woman!

Brianna said...

I totally teared up reading this one! Such an amazingly heartfelt, raw post about your loving mother! She sounds like a wonderful woman!!