Saturday, November 26, 2005

My Christmas Baggage

November 26th... a month from today it'll be over. Christmas time will be nearing the end. I think we'll all feel relief instead of disappointment that it's already over.

Christmas has always been such a big deal in my life. I don't think I have ever been a grown up during Christmas time. Every year, being the youngest in the family I had the right and responsiblity to wake everyone up early. I made my mom get up in the middle of the night and put the presents out, so that it looked like Santa had come while we were asleep. I am not joking around people, I am a child at Christmas. Kyli would usually follow me but never was she first to have to wake me up. Lincoln will always be the last to trapes his ass out of his bed like we were punishing him. How can anyone be bitchy on CHRISTMAS? How is that even possible? Haha, see... a child.

But this year I fear that I just might not be the same little kid I've been for the last nineteen Christmas' before. First of all, we'll be here... in the boonies. The good thing is that Kyli, Lincoln and Joe will all be here. Lincoln's girlfriend, Jess will be with her family as will Rob. Maybe this is a good thing, seeing as Linc and I can tag along together and no one can feel left out. Second, mom isn't going to be very lively and I can understand that completely. But it might be a bit of a chore to keep her spirits lifted which could be discouraging. Traditons are a big thing with me and I'm pretty sure all the basic traditions we've had are all broken this year. Along with most of our Christmas spirits. But I am going to make an effort to keep myself happy. There won't be snow which isn't a bad thing, just different for me. What's Christmas without of f***in' snow? (I am Albertan, so it's going to take some time for me to adjust) Mom said since we're... 26,25 and 20.. that Christmas isn't going to be very big this year. And yes she's said that every year, but I know that this year... since her youngest is 20.. it is going to be like that exactly... small. Because I am a child, this disappoints me. Oh well. I am really big on the "at least we're all together for Christmas.." Because this is the first year where this is a very important detail.

Mr. Rob Junkala himself is going to be absent for our first Christmas.. which technically isn't our is our... it ISN'T our first Christmas apart...haha, so far they all have been apart...but this is our first Christmas knowing each other...apart! WHAT? I am all messed up now. But I'm sure the idea is figured out.. I am happy that he is going home. He needs to. He needs to see his friends and his family. His house. This is a big thing. He "needs to party in his old house for the very last time." Cute. He took me to Hinton to get my shit all figured out.. the things I forgot about.. So this is his chance to do the same. Go home, see everyone he misses and do all of the things he misses, and bring his things back that he forgot about.. etc. I am also happy that he is going home because his family needs him. He needs to complete their Christmas by being there. Hey, I can certainly understand that.

Soooooooooo Christmas is coming. I'm not as freaked out about it as I was... up until I wrote this little blog.

Bring it on Santa.. I'm fuckin' ready.


acumamakiki said...

That's why I'm glad for my kid ~ she brings all the joy back to Christmas for me. My husband is Jewish and so we've had small Christmas celebrations before and no tree which I think is depressing. Last year was the first year we had a tree and it was SO festive! This year, I've made us all Christmas stockings (will post those sometime soon, when they are finished) and I plan to decorate all around. The best part of Christmas for me, is seeing how excited my girl gets when she realizes Santa has come. Sure she likes the present, but she's most interested in seeing if Santa ate the cookies and drank the milk. I leave her a note from Santa which she wasn't too aware of last year (being 3 1/2) but I think this year, she'll get a real kick out of it.

Anonymous said...

And I'm fuckin NOT~ Don't get me wrong.. I love having kids to make the day soo magical. It is the preparing for THE DAY that total bites. I hate the running around, the decorating, etc... I know, I know.. get over it already!

holli said...

The older I get, the less enthusiastic I get about doing holiday stuff. Nana has not been able to pay one of us to help Poppy with the lights. BUT - I'm excited for Faith. So there's that. And the best part is spending time with family, whether you're following traditions you've had your entire life, or starting new ones. Considering my whole family is taking off for Disney and we can't go - I'm going to hang on to that.. or turn into the Grinch.

You'll have more fun than you think with your entire family. I can tell that from your tributes you've done. Having everyone together will make it all great!!

Suz said...

((((Haley)))), Big Hugs, The kid in you will bring out the Christmas in everybody. I know this Christmas will be very hard for you all, but your personality will help you make it thru, along with being with your family.

My kids bring out the kids in me. I love putting all the stuff up, it taking it down & putting it away I cant stand.

Hugs Suz

Kyli said...

Ohhhhh Hay, I am getting soooo excited (and scared) about Christmas. I'm happy, and sad at the same time, but I know Rudi is happy knowing we'll all be together this year. We can do this, and we will, and I think Ma will be happier than we think with all of the kids home.
love ky
p.s. one correction, I believe I woke you up either last year or the year before, when I called you from Victoria, so technically, I was the first up at least one of the years out of 20! :)!