The Quiet

 I'm feeling the blues. I can't pinpoint what it is exactly that is making me feel this way...
I think it could be a combination of things..

//1  My sister and the family left the other day. It's crazy how three years went by where I missed her so much. I can't even describe how difficult it is to live so far away from my "sneestor", someone that I adore and love with all of my heart. I sound dramatic but that is how much I love her. So as soon as I heard that she was coming to visit - finally!!!! I burst into tears and profusely thanked my mom for getting her here. I counted down the months, weeks, days and hours until she arrived.. and then she was here! But it felt like one or two days went by and we were already hugging goodbye. I am a sap when it comes to family. My family, Rob's side.. I love my people. I miss my family and am always sad to see them go. So, having the house so quiet is hard for me.. The silence in the house is the constant reminder that they aren't here anymore and that it is going to be a very, very long time until I see them all again..

//2  While the family was here- it was so nice having all of us under the same roof. Mom, Ky, Linc and I .. the original four! Our step dad passed eight years ago and our dad three years.. So when we're all together like that, which isn't often anymore- it is impossible not to think of them. They are certainly missing from our lives everyday, but more so when we're together as a family. I will admit that I wasn't thinking of them as much while everyone was together. I'm thinking of them now, more than ever. I think with everyone having come and gone, I'm feeling the family blues and with those blues the missing my dads blues as well!
 I know Dad and Rudi would have made great Papa's to their grandchildren. Dad met Quinn, but not Sophie or Alina. Rudi, sadly missed out on all three. But I know that there is a Heaven of some form and they are there watching over all of us. I know that they are hanging around here, especially when we are all together again. So as much as I didn't think about them while the family was here, I am thinking now, that they were most definitely here in spirit...

//3  We have some family out here that live nearby. They have been dealing with a family member getting seizures and a new discovery of a brain tumour. They are all anxiously waiting to hear if the tumour is cancerous. I believe this family member will be getting operated on very soon and it is a very uneasy time for everyone. I am experiences extra feelings of anxiety for all of them. I know what it feels like to have your life turned upside down with news of a tumour. As everyone probably knows by now, our story ended tragically. I am trying not to think too much about it because I'm afraid I'll get too upset if I do. I'm not so sad for myself but for this person and the family members closest to him. I can't imagine how he's feeling; fear, desperation, anger.. We were visiting them today and we could just see the sadness living in all of them. This family is normally very upbeat and happy and that was not the case today. It's just hard to see.. I feel for them so much and can only hope for good news.

 So here I am, with my husband and baby girl sitting by my side, watching the evening news. My mother in law Andrea is back for another visit. She arrived yesterday, when my brother was leaving from his holiday. I welcomed her visit with opened arms.. She always takes good care of us while she is here. I'm glad to have her because I would probably be feeling more bluesy without her here, making us suppers, keeping me company while Rob returns to work after his holidays and entertaining Miss Alina with her high energy and whacky sing songs.
 I may be feeling bluesy today but I am so grateful for our health, the love we share and family.