Saturday, July 20, 2013

Some Bluesy Thoughts

 I can't help but feel a bit old. It's not because I turned 28 last week either. I started my blog eight years ago when I was the ripe age of 20. I blogged about getting hammered, bitched about being recently dumped and about the problems I thought were pretty huge at the time. I still lived at home with my mom and we were having major issues. The place we moved into was a lot and I mean, A LOT smaller than the house we were living in before. I think the close quarters and the whole leaving our lives behind and starting anew with each other was a pretty big factor.
 I have just recently rejoined the blog world. I still had my blog but I rarely wrote posts because my life became busy and I wasn't giving myself any time to write. Now that I am back I feel like the blog world has really changed. Or maybe I was never really apart of it like I thought I was. My blog visually is very amateur, I get that. It's still just a Blogger Template and I have slowly just started adding little features to the side bar. It's a work in progress and I am still learning how to add all of these subtle touches to my blog. I can't help but compare mine to some of the young ladies' blogs that I now follow. I sort of feel out of my league. I actually feel more like I've returned to high school. But in high school I would say I was doing better than I feel I am doing in Blog High School. In real high school I had a group of friends that I really enjoyed spending time with. We drove together to school, skipped classes and went to parties like most teenagers do. In Blog High School I feel like the nerd that gets stuffed into her locker. Not that my fellow bloggers are mean spirited or bullying me. But they all seem to be so popular, getting 30 comments a day or having hundreds to thousands of followers! I am still confused about all of the Link Up blogs and the giveaways and sponsors. I don't totally understand it all. Part of me wants to contact someone to help me create a beautiful, new looking blog so that I will have somewhere I am proud to write at everyday. Part of me wants to figure out how to do a link up so that I can have more friends. The other part of me wants to stay true to my old blogging self. The girl that didn't even know having followers was an option eight years ago. The girl that simply wanted to write.
 I hate admitting it, but I want more followers! I want more people to comment on my posts. I think my problem is that I want all the things that I don't yet deserve. I have to put more into my blog to get what the other bloggers are getting out of theirs. If there were two of me.. this is what we'd say!
 I'm trying to figure out what my point is in this post today. I suppose it is that I am feeling slightly inadequate and over my head here in blogland. But that I do understand why I am not as successful as my fellow bloggers. I haven't put in the time.. I mean, look at me.. This is what I'm doing while I blog.. Looks like more of a laid back hobby than a full time ordeal..

 I also feel a bit old for the demographic that I have been following. The bloggers that I read about are all in their early- mid twenties and they all seem to have such happening lives. I suppose I am just feeling a bit old for that reason too. I am following some young girls that have different priorities and responsibilities. I love being a mom. It really is such a blessing to have a little person that depends on me and loves me for everything that I am. BUT having said that.. I think it's the fact that I know I can't just get up and go do whatever I want anymore. I have someone that relies on my 24/7 and I feel like that weight of responsibility is getting to me a wee bit. I feel a twinge of envy reading about these young ladies that go out with their girlfriends on weeknights, getting hammered and eating out at posh restaurants or fun sounding bars, dancing all night long. It's silly really, I know. I had my fun times when I was in my early twenties. I drank and danced and partied as much as the next guy.. I suppose I am just feeling a little "Old Balls" these days. I just felt like writing about it.. 
 But hell, the sun is shining, my baby girl is napping and I am about to open beer #2.. Life is good for this little, 28 year old mama.. Just felt like posting some bluesy thoughts, no biggy!

What is getting you down lately?


Jade Wright said...

Don't be down! You write amazingly and that is the point.
I read through this entire post and thoroughly enjoyed your writing. It is hard. Blogging is harder than it looks and should be something we're proud of.

A blog is like a book. You know how they say never judge a book by the cover?? Well, the same applies for a blog. Its the writing and the photography and the ideas and inspiration that matters right? Not what color your background is or if you have some weird flashy thing that is your mouse......

I don't get the whole link up thing either or guest bloggers. Why???
Blogging isn't what it used to be but neither is life - we grow and we adapt.

Enjoy your blog for all that it is and have an awesome time with that beer and your little girl!

I like your blog and look forward to the next post!

Sometimes just one person makes all the difference ;)

Anonymous said...

I remember you as a young girl coming to my house for the night with your typewriter in tow. You were writing a novel and had many questions for my then boyfriend about guns. You said that you were in the point in your novel that someone had to die. I giggle remembering this because you were so serious! You had a million questions about guns and what type would be best for a murder. Now - if I did not know you so well and were certain that you were a well adjusted kid - I would have been worried. You were already a serious writer - way back then - getting your facts straight for your book. And your novel was good - it was so well written - especially for such a young girl! Haley - you have always been amazing - and your talent always shines through. It would not surprise me at all if one day you made your profession from writing. I am new to blogging and totally don't have a clue what I am doing. For now I am happy just practicing getting my silly thoughts down. I don't know about the links or ads either. I am so sure you will find your way. The world is yours!! Keep on writing - I know you couldn't stop if you tried. xoxo

Sarah said...

I know exactly what you mean. You're right, it is like being back in high school and comparing yourself to everyone else. There are so many beautifully designed blogs out there with professional-caliber photography and good writing too. They are simply a pleasure to look and read, you know? And then some of the content - people wearing fabulous clothes, living it up in big, exciting cities. And not only that, but the frequency of their posts! If I allow myself, I can really let that make me feel inadequate in my blogging. When I first got started blogging, I simply wanted a platform for my writing. But then I started reading a bunch of bigger blogs (because those are the easiest to find), and I let that pull me in lots of different directions in terms of what I wanted to do. But I've come to accept and even feel pride in that I'm following my own beat. It IS like high school, after all! On the same token, these other blogs have helped me refine what I want to do with my blog. And someday, I'll get around to implementing those changes!

I am a pretty strong believer in sponsoring. I have done it twice and have had great results. And that's how I've found some of my favorite blogs: people who have have ads on bigger sites. Giveaways? I'm on the fence about that one. I've never done it myself. But anyway, I have no doubt that you will build a huge audience. Even if it is freaking hard! :)

Haley said...

Soooo funny that you remember me drilling him for info on guns. What a weird kid! I still have that story. I should dig it up and read it sometime. I'm sure it's ridiculous!! Thanks for your kind words!! You've always been such a good friend to me! (even when I was that strange 11 year old!!)

True! I have already learned so much from these other blogs. I am on maternity leave and have the extra time when baby girl is napping or busy drooling all over herself- to figure out how to make my blog just that much better..! It's kind of fun and definitely a work in progress. It's usually just a google click away to figure out how to add something!!
I don't really understand sponsoring.. Is it just putting your fav. blog peeps along the side of the blog - for other people to see? Like a picture link? Or, is it how I found you.. I believe one of the ladies did a feature about you on her blog and it linked me to your site.
Thanks for the words-- makes me feel better!!