Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Past, My Present, The Future

 In high school I remember having to write down where we thought we'd be in 10 years, in 20 years, etc.. I wish I had a copy of exactly what I wrote down.. This class wasn't English, or  I would still have a copy of that lesson, or at least what I jotted down. Believe it or not, I've kept every single binder from my high school english classes. It's the only work from high school that I have held onto. I was proud of my work, my projects and my journal entries.

 I do remember what I said I would be doing.. I will assume that I was fifteen when I was presented with this question, so ten years from then I would be twenty-five. What did my fifteen year old self expect from her twenty-five year old self?  One fictional woman; Carrie. Bradshaw.
 I remember it well. I wanted to be independently living on my own, without roommates. I wanted to live in a big city like New York, but to still live in Canada. I imagined Toronto, as a comparison. I would live on my own, in a small but cozy apartment, downtown Toronto. I would write in a column of a newspaper or a successful magazine, just like Carrie in Sex in the City. I wished for someone to be a part of my life, romantically but not to be my main focus. I wished for friends and a great social life, but to be mostly focused on my career. I would be working secretly on my first novel on the side.. when I wasn't writing for my column. I would be beautiful, bold and in charge of my own life.

 In reality; at twenty-five I was a newlywed. I married Rob six days before my twenty-fifth birthday. My best friend, confidant and sister moved the day after my wedding, so I was still a bit heartbroken when I turned two-five. My spirits were high because I was freshly married but part of me felt sadness at the loss of my best buddy and my baby nephew. Work wise I was most definitely not doing what fifteen year old me expected. I worked and still work at a pharmacy, as a pharmacy technician, no school required. General job description is receiving, processing and physically 'filling' prescriptions. I manage the inventory of the front store and ensure that we have the proper amount of prescription drugs for the following day. I am basically a secretary to the pharmacist and make sure that people get what they are asking for. It's not a bad gig, but it couldn't be further from what I envisioned.

The collage I created obviously doesn't cover everything that was going on when I was twenty-five. But it shows an idea of what was going on that year. I work, everyday normally, so there's the one picture I have of myself at work. Rob and I enjoyed our summer after we were married, going camping and spending lots of time together as newlyweds. The picture at the bottom is the day after my wedding, when my sister and her family moved to the East Coast.. A sad day, but a vivid memory when I think back to being twenty-five.. Other big things happened that year, but I choose to focus on mainly the good stuff..

 If fifteen year old me could have looked into the future to see where I would be at twenty five; owning my home, living with my newly married hot loving husband, working at a successful job (not career)... I think that fifteen year old me would have been disappointed that I wasn't writing and that I lived in a retirement community instead of the bustling, busy city of Toronto. But, really.. what did fifteen year old me expect? I didn't have the drive to go to secondary school because I became all swept up in myself and what I wanted to be doing, rather than what I needed to be doing. Without school, little girl- careers are scarce. But I will say that fifteen year old me would have been pleased to see that I was married, with someone that made me happy. She would see that my life was fun and that I was doing things that fulfilled my wants and desires. She'd also see that I was beautiful, bold and in charge of my own life, but with a co-pilot holding my hand and walking beside me along the way.

Oh fifteen year old me.. the things you will learn...

  If I was asked to envision ten years from now I bet I would have a better idea of what I would be doing.. But it is still quite a mystery. So much can happen in ten years. Alina will be ten, in grades five or six. I imagine I will have another child, possibly two more.. I hope that I will be happy wherever I am working. In all honesty, it would be ideal for me to be writing, for money. I'm not too sure how I'll pull that off. I have ten years to figure that one out though. I imagine we'll be in a bigger house.. something with a big tree and swing out front. I'd love to have a big, wrap around deck like in the movies for plenty of family gatherings.

 I would be thirty-eight and I hope that we have traveled to four different places that we've always wanted to go. I can dream big! I did when I was fifteen, I can when I'm twenty-eight. But most importantly, I hope that we all have our health, we all have each other and that we are all happy with life, like we are now.


Allison said...

Carrie did have a way of making it look so fabulous and easy, didn't she?! I would hazard to guess that most of us want(ed) at least a little piece of her life. It's not too late to give up on the writing, you have the blog... I'd say that's a pretty good step! :)

Alex[andra] said...

I think marrying your best friend is way better than being Carrie! But, maybe I'm bias because I'm not a fan of Sex in the City. :p Or is Sex and the City? See? I don't even know the name of it!

Susannah said...

Isn't it crazy how life doesn't turn out the way we planned? I would definitely say being married to your best friend is better than being Carrie! ;-)

Noor said...

Ohh our crazy planning and how it all goes . I would never understand the trails of life :) the place you're at now is completed. A family , big busy life and a community. I am so happy for you girl !!

Anonymous said...

I think you will have a Happy Life no matter what !! You are just a Happy Person! And I still want to be Carrie B - except without the working part - just all the other stuff! lol. Oh Ya' - I love your future house - its perfect!

Haley said...

I think you're right.. Life is pretty sweet right now. Carrie's life was so posh. Nice clothes, lots of money, good friends in a great city. BUT, she didn't have a sweet pea baby and doesn't live in a retirement community like THIS Lucky duck!