"All The Small Things"

I am at a loss for words. Nothing happened that has made me this way, really. I just wanted to write. I always want to write. There's something within me, a voice that wills me to come onto my blog and let the words flow through my fingertips. One thing I hate is when I have nothing to really share... besides the little things, in my head. Then again sometimes these little things are the most important.

Ahh yes, the little things. Aren't these small details the very walls of any kind of friendship, relationship..? I came to realize, with some help and guidance, that these little details really do matter. Who are we if we don't have small quirks or goofy tendencies? Not existent.. that's what. When two people get to know one another, they learn these little things with time, with conversation and experience. Aren't the little things what we fall in love with? I can think of plenty of traits in a lot of my friends that make me shake my head, or laugh my ass off over..
These quirks are what shape us as human beings. If there is anything that I am looking for in another person it is what makes him individual...stand out from the others.

Even my boyfriends in my past have had some very interesting tendencies...things that made them great in their own ways. Things that still to this day make me laugh about, despite how much I may not care for them now.

Kirk, the first boyfriend, my first love made me laugh because he was such a retard. He used to do some of the most bizarre things to make me laugh. He had this crazy noise he'd make when he'd change his gears in his truck. Sounds simple and stupid and that's pretty much what it was. He was funny, but a failure. I'm not necessarily saying that he's a failure, but we were.

Tyler, the second boyfriend I didn't think the world of. I just dated him because it was time for me to move on and venture onto different things. He was a lot of fun. I was more like one of the guys when I hung out with him and his friends. I liked that he included me. He was proud of me. His quirks were more annoying to me, which is a clear indication that I didn't deserve him and still don't. Second failure, I knew it was going to happen half way through the relationship.

Then there was three. Paul. He did have some great qualities too. He still has them, just not with me. He used to flirt with old ladies. Now that sounds creepy but he'd flatter them and they'd love him for it. He'd make their day. For some reason it is tough for me to remember his funny quirks. Ahh, yes I may have blocked the good ones for the time being. It's how I heal. The wall is up and it isn't coming down for a while. Third failure, that was the opposite of the second.

I have a few quirks up my sleeve..... I snort when I laugh..and when I laugh I mean cackle, like a witch. That's hot. I do regular spider checks before I have a shower... each corner of the bathroom: 1 wall, 2 wall, 3 wall...4...nope. Spider check..check! I wasn't aware of that one really, until it was brought to my attention. You know who you are! And yes, I am thinking about you right now. And most likely when you read this, I'll be thinking of you then too.

Right, no one will understand that..but that's okay.

What I am trying to say is... I don't know. I just felt like writing..sharing my thoughts. I love knowing that people read my writing. That there are people in this world that care about what I have to say..and that they're somewhat interested. As I write, people are reading.. And that's all I've ever wanted.

Getting through to people with my own thoughts through my own words is probably the best gift I have ever been given...