Saturday, September 17, 2005

Second Wind

Hey, hey!!

Wow last night was loads of fun. I went to a house party type deal and wooped it up. I was playing "quarters" one on one with this guy that was very good at it. Meaning, I was very drunk after we were finished. I took tons of pictures to document the evening, but I have to get my pictures developed, I have yet to purchase a digital like everyone it seems. I was a bit of a brat because of the drinking, causing mischief. I was told today that it was okay, just as long as I had fun. And well I I guess it's okay! Okay!

I received a letter in the mail. I wrote the first letter and was hoping for a reply any time soon. But after awhile I feared that it wouldn't come. But it did and I couldn't be happier. I wrote Paul's mom a letter, saying goodbye in a sense. I love her and wished that I could've had the chance to talk to her again, and all that kinda stuff. So I expressed my feelings in the best way I know how and wrote her a letter. She loved it and laughed, smiled and cried and cried some more I am told over it. She is a great artist and sent me a painting that she made of an area outside of Hinton. She said it was a memory of where I grew up. I love it and am going to frame it as soon as I get the chance to.

Now this woman is my freakin' mentor..minus the fact that she's a Jehovah's Witness. She is everything I want to be. She's a mother, a great friend, loving, caring, amazingly funny sense of humour. She paints, sings, plays the guitar, scrap books, cooks and cleans like nobodies business. I just love her to pieces. Really I miss her more than Paul these days. I think I will always miss her and I won't allow myself to get over her. There will be no getting over Denise. No no. She informed me of what was up with her family and the baby...

I saved the letter that I sent her and it was very nice and I am really proud of myself for writing it. She said that my maturity shone throught out my letter and that she was so pleased that I decided to write. She gave me great advice, and made me feel better about the entire situation. She said that she was glad I was apart of his life, and that he is a better person because of it. Who wouldn't want her as a mother in law...? She's so amazing.

She said that no one is whole until they have spirituality in his life. I agree. I am not a Jehovah's Witness or anything really for that matter. But I do believe that there needs to be "something" in your life.. I look for guidance in my angel cards. I feel better knowing that there is something..or someone watching over me from... wherever. Rudi is my main angel up there and that is a very comforting feeling.

I just feel a whole lot better. There is a weight being lifted off of me.. I think of it as... when I wake up for work, I make a point to have a nap after work because I'm so tired. But once work is over I have a second wind and think, "F the nap." Well this is my second wind. She gave me energy and joy to keep on going. I mean, I was going to keep the ol' chin up but this really helps a chicky out.

The house party lifted my spirits too. I love socializing in a party setting...and getting letters from my ex's mama. This lifts my spirits to the moon.


Anonymous said...

I am so glad you are in good spirits Haley. Denise sounds like a wonderful lady! And she is a terrific painter... now you will have that painting to cherish forever.

Gawd, it has been forever since I played quarters.. I am afraid I would not do so hot these days =D

Mama said...

SOunds like you had a fun nite! The movies we watched were hilarious! I needed a good laugh.

I hate that feeling when you send a letter off(or an email) and you second guess over it etc and then there's an answer and you realize you did the right thing in the 1st place!

Happy Sunday! ~m

Haley said...


I did get something really great out of the relationship and that's Denise's friendship..her love. So that's a great gift to receive.


My Sunday went just fine thanks. Yes I am really glad that I sent the letter and I love that was pleased with it.

Erin and Mama,

Are you ever worried that your
son(s) or daughter(s) might break hearts when they grow up and you'll have to sit there and let it happen..and even worse THEIR hearts might get broken. That must be a HUGE concern for parents. just some food for thought...


Mama said...

Absolutely! I've seen it happen w/my boys already. G/fs have broken their hearts, and I've wanted to just go after them(g/f) and beat em up LOL! And then there was the gf that motorcycle-boy had for more than a yr and we loved loved loved her! We(me,husband and Britt) were DEVASTATED when he broke up w/her! We still miss her and its almost been a yr! Actually for my birthday she came to see me! It was the 1st time since the break up. (Ha! You'd think I'd been the one dumped!)

As for Britt, I pity anyone who would DARE hurt her! Between her Dad, brothers and me, they don't have a shot at survival! ;)

Btw, Kelly Clarkson's video just came on tv "Since You've been gone". We love to watch her tear up that boys apt! Have you seen it?


Haley said...

Yes I love that video!! It's my favourite one so far. She's such a vicious little, getcha back kinda bitch and I just love it. At first you think she's trashing 'their' place. I love how she cut all of her tank top straps on the hangers. That's priceless.

Yes, I bet you've been through it now that I think about it.

I pity any guy that dates Brit..with all those big brothers..and a dad and a MAMA. Haha, just kidding.


Suz said...

Sounds like you had a wonderful time! Its been ages since I played quarters, lord I feel old now, lol.

Its sounds like you wrote a wonderful letter and Iam so glad that she appreciated it. The painting is beautiful.

Hugs Suz