Second Wind

Hey, hey!!

Wow last night was loads of fun. I went to a house party type deal and wooped it up. I was playing "quarters" one on one with this guy that was very good at it. Meaning, I was very drunk after we were finished. I took tons of pictures to document the evening, but I have to get my pictures developed, I have yet to purchase a digital like everyone it seems. I was a bit of a brat because of the drinking, causing mischief. I was told today that it was okay, just as long as I had fun. And well I did..so I guess it's okay! Okay!

I received a letter in the mail. I wrote the first letter and was hoping for a reply any time soon. But after awhile I feared that it wouldn't come. But it did and I couldn't be happier. I wrote Paul's mom a letter, saying goodbye in a sense. I love her and wished that I could've had the chance to talk to her again, and all that kinda stuff. So I expressed my feelings in the best way I know how and wrote her a letter. She loved it and laughed, smiled and cried and cried some more I am told over it. She is a great artist and sent me a painting that she made of an area outside of Hinton. She said it was a memory of where I grew up. I love it and am going to frame it as soon as I get the chance to.

Now this woman is my freakin' mentor..minus the fact that she's a Jehovah's Witness. She is everything I want to be. She's a mother, a great friend, loving, caring, amazingly funny sense of humour. She paints, sings, plays the guitar, scrap books, cooks and cleans like nobodies business. I just love her to pieces. Really I miss her more than Paul these days. I think I will always miss her and I won't allow myself to get over her. There will be no getting over Denise. No no. She informed me of what was up with her family and the baby...

I saved the letter that I sent her and it was very nice and I am really proud of myself for writing it. She said that my maturity shone throught out my letter and that she was so pleased that I decided to write. She gave me great advice, and made me feel better about the entire situation. She said that she was glad I was apart of his life, and that he is a better person because of it. Who wouldn't want her as a mother in law...? She's so amazing.

She said that no one is whole until they have spirituality in his life. I agree. I am not a Jehovah's Witness or anything really for that matter. But I do believe that there needs to be "something" in your life.. I look for guidance in my angel cards. I feel better knowing that there is something..or someone watching over me from... wherever. Rudi is my main angel up there and that is a very comforting feeling.

I just feel a whole lot better. There is a weight being lifted off of me.. I think of it as... when I wake up for work, I make a point to have a nap after work because I'm so tired. But once work is over I have a second wind and think, "F the nap." Well this is my second wind. She gave me energy and joy to keep on going. I mean, I was going to keep the ol' chin up but this really helps a chicky out.

The house party lifted my spirits too. I love socializing in a party setting...and getting letters from my ex's mama. This lifts my spirits to the moon.